I have writer's block today.
I have lots of theories..
Perhaps it is because I have not had more than 4-6 hours of sleep for the last 3 nights during our brief St. Louis trip.
Perhaps it is because I suffer from a feeling of sadness and anguish every time I leave my family because I haven't lived in the same city, state and sometime even country as my family since 1995.
Perhaps it is because I am too busy reading up on all the blogs I normally check and feel like I would be
plagerizing borrowing content if I tried to write now.
Perhaps it is because I have 5 days of laundry to do, a Kindergarten Valentine's Party to co-chair, a preschool class full of Valentines to address, errands to run, a house to clean and a weekend of houseguests to prepare for.
Perhaps it is because everytime Grant takes a deep breath he exhales a deeply planted, vomit-inducing, chest cough and wants me right by his side today.
But, I think the most likely cause is that I have that pit-in-my-stomach, what-comes-next, verge-of-despair, simply-awful feeling I get everytime we know we are about to get test results this week. Results come Wednesday, February 13, 2008.
I hate this feeling. I hate that I get it. I hate that this is part of our lives. I hate not knowing when and IF it will ever cease to be part of our lives. I hate that it sucks the creativity right out of me. I hate how it preoccupies me and keeps me from enjoying the wonderful life that is presently in front of me. I hate that it makes me feel like a total hypocrite for writing what I am about to write....
Monday, February 11, 2008