Tuesday, February 5, 2008

CSI: Our house - Episode 2 - Not at fault/Not guilty

For some reason, Gavin (6) is going through a “It’s not my fault” phase. Nothing is EVER Gavin’s doing.
Did you hit your brother? He hit me first.
Did you put away your toys? You didn’t tell me to.
Gavin, you left the door wide open. YOU opened it for me.
Did you listen to what I just said? I can’t listen when the TV is on and You didn’t tell me to turn off the TV,

Common Offense, Exhibit A:
Gavin: I can’t find my shoes. I put them in my shoe cubby. Someone took them out!
ME: Gavin no one would take YOUR shoes out of your cubby. It is just the 4 of us and no one else can wear your shoes. Did you check the back door?
(Magically, there they are, but it doesn’t end there.)
Gavin: Mom, YOU made me take them off there since they had mud on them so I didn’t remember where they were! YOU should have remembered!


Specific Holiday Offense Exhibit B:
Gavin has been especially whiny all day. He is fighting CONSTANTLY with brother Grant and cousin Logan. They are pushing his buttons because he is whining and tattling, so I finally tell him,
Me: That’s it. No more whining. YOU are now the one in trouble if you whine again.
Gavin: It’s just that Grant and Logan
Me: Gaa-aaVIN….
Gavin: But, Mom, Logan was…
Me: Eh, Eh, Eh, I don’t want to hear it. That’s it. You are done. It is time for bed.
Gavin: Mo-o-m. Grant and Logan were….
Me: No. Zip. That’s it.
Gavin: But mom. Grant
Me: Shhh...
Gavin: (gets ready for bed and lays down)
Me: Gavin, Dude. What is going on? You are so fussy today. Why are you so whiny? And I don’t want to hear ‘Logan and Grant did whatever…’
Gavin: But, mommy…
Me: Gavin, if you even say the words Grant or Logan, you are going to be punished. So, what is making you so whiny today and what can we do about it?
Gavin: Uh, Mommy. Umm... Mom, it’s just that Andrew always takes my stuffed animals and then he holds me down without letting me up and it makes me sad. It makes me cry.
Me: Andrew?!? Well, we will have to talk to Andrew about that.
(Andrew is Gavin’s 18 year old cousin with whom he LOVES to wrestle. Andrew was coming THE NEXT DAY, and Gavin hadn’t seen him in about 6 weeks)

Once again. Not his fault.

One final example, Exhibit C:
I am putting Gavin to bed and he has a headache. He has been home from school for 2 days with a low grade fever and a headache that responds quite well to Tylenol or Motrin. (yes this was his flu week before he got REALLY sick)
Me: Gavin, I think tomorrow, we will either have to go to the doctor or you need to go to school.
Gavin: What if my head hurts?
Me: But your head doesn’t seem to be too bad. You are certainly able to play all day anyway and you need to get back to school to learn.
Gavin: I don’t know what we are learning about this week.
Me; I know. Me neither. That is why you need to get back to school. I think you are learning about money and different coins and I think you will really like that.
Gavin: Mom, I don’t know about money.
Me: Yeah, but you will get back into school and learn again tomorrow.
Gavin: But my head might hurt.
Me: Yeah, but maybe we will give you some medicine right before you get on the bus that will make you okay until you get home. Either that or we need to go to the doctor to see what might be the reason for the headaches.
Gavin: Mom, I know why I have a headache all the time.
Me: You do? Why?
Gavin: Because GRANT keeps making me smell his FARTS!

So it’s Grant’s fault now. At least it’s not mine.



  1. Wow, this sounds JUST LIKE our seven year old girl. Everything is my fault...why she can't find her shoes...why her homework isn't finished, etc. Ugh. It must be that age. I wish I could remember back that far.

  2. EWWWWW!! Smelling farts?

    This does not sound like a fun phase at all...Clearly, my hubby did not advance further than age 6 because he still acts this way...:(

  3. Um, I hate to tell you but this started with my little guy when he was five, and it's still going on at ten! It's a long stage....


  4. This is a conversation that goes on in my house every single day!! And ... they don't grow out of it much! I loved the fart comment - very funny! Have a good Wednesday -see you soon. Kellan

  5. Hey, do you think he'd mind if I borrowed the Grant excuse? I don't know if I can finish this report for work and my head hurts a little.

  6. My five year old is like this...I was hoping it was just a short phase but it looks like I've got several more years of it!

  7. Why is it hat nothing is ever their fault? I have few at my house that do this. It ranges from the 12 yr old down to the 3 year old. Thay all do it!


  8. Aren't they lucky they're so cute? Dylan hasn't learned the fine art of the blame game yet. I'm sure we're not too far off, though!

  9. That reminds me of Austin Powers where he does the whole "Shh" routine. Cracks me up. Maybe Gavin will be a lawyer.

  10. I forgot what I was going to say once I saw the pic of you and your son... BEAUTIFUL!

    You are amazing, and sooooo wonderful!

  11. I also have a few who do this very thing.
    My favorite was when a crtain child got in trouble at school for not turning in an assignment (One we had been nagging him to complete for quite a while) and he says "You should have FORCED me to do it!"

  12. I sympathize, as I too have fart-headache syndrome or FHS. I've suffered from this for nearly 9 years...ironically that is the same duration as my marriage.