For some reason, Gavin (6) is going through a “It’s not my fault” phase. Nothing is EVER Gavin’s doing.
Did you hit your brother? He hit me first.
Did you put away your toys? You didn’t tell me to.
Gavin, you left the door wide open. YOU opened it for me.
Did you listen to what I just said? I can’t listen when the TV is on and You didn’t tell me to turn off the TV,
Common Offense, Exhibit A:
Gavin: I can’t find my shoes. I put them in my shoe cubby. Someone took them out!
ME: Gavin no one would take YOUR shoes out of your cubby. It is just the 4 of us and no one else can wear your shoes. Did you check the back door?
(Magically, there they are, but it doesn’t end there.)
Gavin: Mom, YOU made me take them off there since they had mud on them so I didn’t remember where they were! YOU should have remembered!
NOT HIS FAULT
Specific Holiday Offense Exhibit B:
Gavin has been especially whiny all day. He is fighting CONSTANTLY with brother Grant and cousin Logan. They are pushing his buttons because he is whining and tattling, so I finally tell him,
Me: That’s it. No more whining. YOU are now the one in trouble if you whine again.
Gavin: It’s just that Grant and Logan…
Gavin: But, Mom, Logan was…
Me: Eh, Eh, Eh, I don’t want to hear it. That’s it. You are done. It is time for bed.
Gavin: Mo-o-m. Grant and Logan were….
Me: No. Zip. That’s it.
Gavin: But mom. Grant…
Gavin: (gets ready for bed and lays down)
Me: Gavin, Dude. What is going on? You are so fussy today. Why are you so whiny? And I don’t want to hear ‘Logan and Grant did whatever…’
Gavin: But, mommy…
Me: Gavin, if you even say the words Grant or Logan, you are going to be punished. So, what is making you so whiny today and what can we do about it?
Gavin: Uh, Mommy. Umm... Mom, it’s just that Andrew always takes my stuffed animals and then he holds me down without letting me up and it makes me sad. It makes me cry.
Me: Andrew?!? Well, we will have to talk to Andrew about that.
(Andrew is Gavin’s 18 year old cousin with whom he LOVES to wrestle. Andrew was coming THE NEXT DAY, and Gavin hadn’t seen him in about 6 weeks)
One final example, Exhibit C:
I am putting Gavin to bed and he has a headache. He has been home from school for 2 days with a low grade fever and a headache that responds quite well to Tylenol or Motrin. (yes this was his flu week before he got REALLY sick)
Me: Gavin, I think tomorrow, we will either have to go to the doctor or you need to go to school.
Gavin: What if my head hurts?
Me: But your head doesn’t seem to be too bad. You are certainly able to play all day anyway and you need to get back to school to learn.
Gavin: I don’t know what we are learning about this week.
Me; I know. Me neither. That is why you need to get back to school. I think you are learning about money and different coins and I think you will really like that.
Gavin: Mom, I don’t know about money.
Me: Yeah, but you will get back into school and learn again tomorrow.
Gavin: But my head might hurt.
Me: Yeah, but maybe we will give you some medicine right before you get on the bus that will make you okay until you get home. Either that or we need to go to the doctor to see what might be the reason for the headaches.
Gavin: Mom, I know why I have a headache all the time.
Me: You do? Why?
Gavin: Because GRANT keeps making me smell his FARTS!
So it’s Grant’s fault now. At least it’s not mine.