Results - Feb 13, 2008

One of my fears lately is that I will not be able to express myself to the standards I have come to expect from myself. Some days I feel like what I write is concise, entertaining, informative, well prepared, etc. Other days, what I write is simply brain babble - mindless drivel coming from my fingertips. I fear I will write in this latter manner on days when I really want to say something - days when I have something important to relay about Brian and his health which is the reason I created this blog last April. I want to be most effective during those moments, but some days there is nothing else to do than simply get to the point, to write conversationally, and to ask for forgiveness with respect to grammar and creativity.

Brian’s results day was today. I hate this day. I try my best to occupy my mind and time, but what I find is that I am generally short with my children, ineffective with my time management and overall sick-feeling all day. Today was no different, except that this appointment was late in the afternoon, so I got to experience my shortcomings all day.

I was extremely nervous when the doctor came in and made idle chit chat for the first 5-10 minutes. He asked several times how Brian was feeling and to me those questions coupled with the lack of divulging information could only mean one thing. Finally, he read the MRI results:

The Spectroscopy (MRSI) results were inconclusive (again). On test day, the MRSI should add about 20 minutes onto the tail end of a standard 1 hour brain MRI. When Brian had the test performed, he laid on the table for 2-1/2 hours. They do not know how to administer this MRSI here very well nor do they know how to read it. At Stanford, they use this test often and effectively. Right now we only have this test performed because our follow-up is still part of the Stanford research study in which Brian participated in May. So, we will wait to see what Stanford says about the MRSI again.

The MRI showed minimal increase in enhancement surrounding the surgical cavity. This could mean slight growth. This could mean scarring. This could mean necrosis (dying cells). The Spectroscopy should show the difference to an extent, but it doesn’t really matter here in Peoria, IL since they don’t use, perform or read these tests much. Dr. G. does not recommend any change in treatment right now. The increase was very minimal. The *cringe at word* tumor board (group of neuro-surgeons, neurologists, radiologists and oncologists that review cases) will meet Monday and review Brian’s case to see if they think it warrants any change in our current protocol.

In summary, all in all, it is relatively good news. Brian’s pathology last April is one of the most aggressive types of *cringe at word again* cancer known. So no growth to speak of is encouraging. We, naturally, would like NO GROWTH AT ALL and shrinkage of what little enhancement is remaining, but we will take what we can get for now. We consider this continued testing of our faith, tolerance and reliance upon our Father. We will continue the fight and press on from here. Pressing on right now means another round of Temodar chemo and continued vigor in our worship, prayer and spiritual journey.

Thank you to all our friends and family and my newfound on-line blogging friendships for your continued support and prayers. We would be nowhere without you all.

I am most happy to report that we can, without feelings of hypocrisy, continue to live and write these words …

KEEP BELIEVING