sleeeplessness

Brian's decline seems to continue.

Last evening and night he had several issues with vomiting. He is drinking less and not outputting very much. Not to be too graphic, but he only pees about twice a day and hasn't had a BM since Sunday. Also, since Sunday he has only taken in about 8-20 ounces of fluid per day and about the equivalent of one package of Ramen noodles or half a sandwich in any given day. I offer every and anything to him as does anyone. He is just not interested in food or drink. For Brian not to drink shows serious signs of a change. He normally drinks about 64 ounces of fluid a day.

Brian is becoming weaker and less stable. He can not walk even a few steps anymore. He needs help getting in and out of bed and his chair. We take the wheelchair to and from the hospital bed to the La-Z-Boy now. When he does eat, it is in bed or in his chair. He no longer attempts to make it to the table.

Last night he became incredibly confused talking about the "help desk" at one point in time. Also, he and Sean and Murph - his brothers - were doing something related to cash. At one point in time he was doing a project for which he needed scissors. When I told him I was not getting him scissors, he got irritated with me and told me to stop talking to him like he was stupid. I felt bad and suggested he work on it later instead.

Brian seems to be fighting sleep like he did this night in February. I have given him a few different drugs to attempt to assist him with this. It seems like EVENTUALLY, when he finally stops fighting it, they work. He was up most of the night last night very restless. Trying to get out of bed a couple times, asking for his IPOD, trying to control his IPOD with the TV remote control, turning the TV off and on, looking around for the source of what he thought was a strange noise, etc.

He finally fell asleep around 10:30 this morning.

Brian's parents have spent the night every day this week. Brian's Aunts and Uncles are coming to the rescue this weekend while his parents attend a funeral. I have decided to send the boys to St. Louis to play with some cousins and aunts and uncles in lieu of staying around here. This is a tough decision as I do not know what phase Brian is entering and how much longer he has. Still, I think, with it being Grant's birthday and a couple days off school, they can have a nice time being spoiled and distracted in St. Louis. I pray it is the right decision.

Everything in me tells me this time is it. I know there is no way of knowing for sure. I spoke with his hospice nurse this morning to inform her of Brian's current condition. She suggested increasing some doses of Lorazapan which can help with vomiting and restlessness. The suppositories will also be effective in managing this. She stated, however, that we need to be prepared that Brian's confusion with his bodily function needs, his instability, his restlessness, his weakness and his lack of appetite are all signs of his entering a final stage of life. Not that we haven't experienced this before, but this week we have seen a continual decline in Brian unlike the other times.

Please remember that Brian loves to hear from you - even if you have written in the past - especially fond memories:

brianoneill1972@yahoo.com

I don't know how to creatively end this post.

Please pray for us. I just want the peace and love of Jesus to surround us -ALL of us - including every one of YOU - in this time.

KEEP BELIEVING