Tuesday, March 10, 2009

dizzy and sick

Brian awoke on Monday morning and vomited right away like he has been doing every morning for the last week. Most days this lasts until around 11 or earlier. Then he is fine. He has been getting a tad weaker - probably due to not eating much and small progression. However, on Monday, he suddenly lost his balance around 9:45 and vomited all day - about every 20 minutes until around 3. Then he stopped vomiting for a few hours until we moved him to the hospital bed around 8:30. He was unable to walk without significant assistance and even then, we were pretty much holding him up. There was no way we were going to get him up the stairs. He was not happy about the decision, and after a few caddy remarks, he agreed - JUST FOR ME. Whatever. I will take it.

Anyway, he began vomiting again around 8:30 and continued to do that every half hour until around 10:00. He fell asleep around 10:30 and slept most of the night. I lifted both the bed rails, put the bedside table next to one side and slept on a mattress next to him on the other side. I did this so he would not unexpectedly try to get out of bed in the middle of the night without my hearing him as has happened in the past when he was not in a good condition. So, I slept rather fitfully afraid of the above circumstance occurring. He wretched and coughed a couple times throughout the night, but slept pretty well, I think, all in all.

This morning, he woke and was extremely dizzy getting to and from his chair. He has not had any more to eat than 1-1/2 Ritz crackers since last night. He feels like he is going to vomit just about as soon as he takes a bite of something. Naturally, this makes him weaker. He vomited twice today as well. It is nothing more than stomach bile and whatever water he recently drank. We have a suppository anti-nausea and I would like to try it, but Brian is not ready. I think we may do this when he wakes tomorrow.

One big issue right now is getting him cleaned up. He has not had a shower or shaved since Friday due to his condition. He would like to, but he is unable to get up or down our stairs to do so. Even if we did have a way to transport him up and down the stairs, the wheelchair doesn't fit through our bathroom or bedroom doors, so no matter. I guess I will need to sponge bath him as best as possible soon.

He hasn't been out of his chair for any reason as of yet today, so I have no idea how his stability will be tonight.

And now I just looked at the clock, realized we have to leave for soccer in 30 minutes and I need to feed the kids, so that is all for now.



  1. Angie,
    You're certainly experiencing a difficult part of the journey right now. Be sure to take the help that hospice and friends and family offer for the things that Brian needs done physically -- getting up and down stairs, bathing, administering medications, etc. You have enough of a job administering to him and the boys emotionally, in addition to yourself. Don't wear yourself too thin. My prayers are with you, as always.

  2. Hi Angie,

    I was thinking exactly what Denise said, reach out for more help now.

    Thinking of you.


    Still believing.

  3. Hi sweetie...I know Brian HATES to feel dirty...any hope of getting a portable shower/bath from hospice???? They should be able to help with this part. I will pray that you all have a better night's sleep...know how much you are all loved and thought about constantly. I am here if you need me for any reason....or just to talk or cry on my shoulder.


  4. Thanks for posting this update. I am praying that you are easily able to get Brian clean, that you all have a good nights sleep, that he is able to keep food down, and that you get all the help you need when you need it.

  5. There are no words that I can say... except that all prayers are headed your way.

  6. I'm in Virginia, praying for you, Brian and the boys.

  7. I have been reading your blog but have never posted. This latest update just made me cry. I can't imagine the stress you are feeling. Take advantage of any help offered to you!!

    You are in our prayers,

  8. Angie! Call me if you need ANYTHING. I have an idea, but I'll email you "privately." Hee hee. Check your email!


  9. He doesn't want to use the Pfenergan? It works well (I take it for vertigo-induced nausea as needed). Vomiting constantly like that is exhausting! Hopefully it's just a temporary episode...

  10. Angie..
    what about hospice? They should be controlling the vomiting. They should also be offering assistance in bathing..Check this out..That's what they are for and they would be happy to help..A nice bath and shave would probably make him feel beter:)I am praying for you and your family please know you are NOT alone xo love to you all..Thanks for the update..

  11. I pray that you guys will get a better rest tonight - especially you, Angie. How are the boys holding up? It sounds like you could really use a hand right now - I wish I lived close enough to help out. Still praying for you fervently.

  12. My mom had said that was a hard move..resolving to call hospice for something specific. Like really admitting something you already knew or that it was the "gateway" to REALLY needing their service more and more. She just wanted him to know it was just a nurse. Truly they make your life (and his) so much easier right now. I remember my step-dad calling his hospice nurse (Helen) "Helen On Wheels!" haha. She was awesome!

    and YOU are amazing!

  13. Angie--have you talked to hospice about this? Someone should be coming in to bathe him--or help you bathe him--daily. If he doesn't want to use the suppositories maybe a nurse could give him injections of Phenergan. Hang in there--you know you've got the whole blogosphere behind you.

  14. Angie,
    Praying against discouragement for you right now. The giants look so big, but our God is a giant slayer. Be strong and courageous, sweet friend. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is fully aware of what is going on. I can't imagine how helpless you must feel and how surreal this must be for you. I read a devotional the other day that said there are two days of the week that we do not have to worry about--yesterday and tomorrow. Scripture tells us that each day has enough worry of its own. The writer of this devotional said that when we "borrow" worry from yesterday and add it to today's burden, we become overwhelmed. The same is true for tomorrow. Both yesterday and tomorrow belong to God, each with its worries and fears. Angie, the Lord is demanding a new level of trust in Him. Do not listen to the enemy whispering fear into your ear. That fear is not from our Jesus. Neither is the darkness. He is hiding you, Angie. That darkness is the shadow of His wing. Don't believe that it is anything else. Hold on, sweet Angie, hold on! I pray that these words from the prophet Zephaniah of the Old Testament will be your comfort:

    "The Lord your God is with you [Angie and Brian],
    He is mighty to save.
    He will take great delight in you,
    He will quiet you with His love,
    He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

    I will pray that you will KNOW that this is the truth, although life's circumstances defy it to be so. Our Lord Jesus Christ is with you. His power has not diminished one iota. He will give you the grace to face whatever is ahead.

    Love you, Angie--Shawn from TN

  15. I'm praying for your strength ANgie!

  16. Angie, You are doing the right thing sleeping next to Brian. I have done it too and it made both of us feel better.

    I agree with those who have said to contact hospice. Tell them what is happening and ask for solutions. They may have something specific for you to help Brian.

    Everyday you, Brian, Gavin and Grant are in my prayers. God is surrounding you with His love and protection. Lean on Him and you will have a miracle.


  17. For the last couple of months, I've been bathing Mom right on her bed. I lift her onto potty chair to rest while I change the sheets afterward, so it's a good way to get too cleaning chores done together. Praying for you. (She hasn't taken a step unaided for the last 16+ months, so stairs would have been impossible for us to navigate.)

  18. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  19. Angie, Brian & Boys. We are thinking and praying for you and all your famlies. Our thoughts are with you all. We Love You!

    Nita and John

  20. I love what the above writer said, meaning not to forget that the darkness we sometimes feel is really being in the shadow of His Wing even though sometimes it may not feel like it. That is something I too shall try to remember in dark times of my life.
    As I read your blog, I truely believe you have an enormous amount of faith and courage and right under that Wing is where you are! The mortal human body could not bear such pain any other way! God continue to bless you and your family!

  21. Thinking of you Angie.

  22. Thinking of you all!!! I will pray for a solution with the bathing - we all feel better with a good bath/shower!


  23. As if you need one more comment... but the above people are so right, you need hospice help NOW. They are wonderful and will do for you what you can't accomplish on your own. It will actually make your husband feel better too. You need to do this. I'm praying for you, so sorry you have to go through this, all of you.