Thursday, March 5, 2009


Realizing that I am overdue for an update on Brian, I apologize for not getting to this blog lately. I tried to go off my medication these past weeks to see how I did. Well, combine that with a certain time of the month, Brian's condition, fighting children and bleak weather and you have a recipe for disaster. I should have known. Now that I am back on my medication, I am going through getting my levels adjusted which includes headaches and fatigue for me. I am getting along better now.

But, enough about me, I know you come here to read about Brian.

In the last week, Brian has continued to get just a little worse. His speech is hit or miss. His mornings are awful - he is dizzy and often has vomiting spells. He has fallen three times in the last week. He is getting gradually more unstable and slower. He is very tired, but doesn't really nap. His memory is awful. He must ask me 20 times a day what we have going on that day/evening. He does not remember many recent visitors, but does remember some. He pretty much eats two meals a day still - one small and one microscopic. He doesn't really snack, either. And he is still stubborn as hell. Where 'stubborn as hell' apparently means 'stubborn as his Grandpa(s)'.... 'or Dad'.... 'or nephew'.... 'or Mom' depending on whom you ask.

One thing that brings much joy into Brian's life right now is reading the emails people are sending to the account we set up for him. His brother, Sean, brings them over once a week and Brian lights up when he hears from a total stranger that is touched by his courage and faith. He laughs and nods when he hears from an old friend relaying a particular memory or reliving old times. He delights in seeing pictures from friends and family of old times or their current families and locations.

Please keep sending those. Seriously, Brian's long term memory is not affected, so he takes great pleasure in reminiscing since he knows his short term memory is failing him.

When I get more motivated, I will write something profound again. I know you are all dying for my wisdom and wit again.



  1. Just a quick comment before I go begging you for the french toast bake recipe... we come here to read about YOU TOO!! We love you and your amazing wisdom and wit ;-) Thanks for the update on Brian. Still praying from CA!

  2. Hi Angie~

    I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better now. I hope the headaches and fatigue leave you soon. Thank you for the update about Brian.

    Thinking of you and your whole family.

    Take care.

    Still believing.

  3. WE come here to hear about YOU :). Take it from a chick who knows, don't EVER try to go off meds in the scenario described above :). In nursing we always say "take two, they're small"' I of course, though would never give out that kind of advice :)

  4. Of course we love to hear about you too. We are inspired by Brian, you, and your whole family.

    Continued prayers.

  5. I echo everyone else. Although I am a total stranger I care just as much about how you're doing as I do about Brian, and of course the boys. My prayers are for all of you.

  6. That was very profound. Your strength is amazing. and we will continue to pray for you, for your family and most importantly, for Brian's peace.

  7. Angie,

    I read to hear how YOU are doing, too. I'm glad you are getting your medication straightened out. Love,


  8. I am a complete stranger but I also like to see how you and the kids are handling life through all of this. Your strength is inspiring along side your husbands. And for pete's sake don't try to stop taking meds in the middle of a stress filled time! Talk about stubborn! LOL

  9. Gee Angie, it's about time..........don't you know that we have serious withdrawals when you don't update?!

    Love ya

  10. I'm also a complete stranger, but I want you to know that You, Brian and your boys are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself, you are just as important!

  11. Thank you for being so kind as to think of updating us now. I'm keeping your family in my heart and am off to email Brian right now.

  12. Another stranger, coming to see how love can bend and stretch and deal with so much. Hoping that should I need to find such strength in my future that I can find hope in how you can get through this. Hoping that if I help take a little of the burden and a few of the tears from you that I will help you and yours in this time. Each day I hold you all in my heart - and think of so many who are dealing with so much each day - and how love and faith and family and friends can see us through.

  13. Praying for you and your family. XOXO

  14. Angie, you are touching so many of us even on your non-profound days. It’s great to see how many strangers are posting here. I'm not a stranger, but I must admit I would seem strange to others a lot of the time (just ask Terry). I can laugh, then cry then feel irritable toward everyone--especially myself. This wide range expression of negative emotions can occur simultaneously! Even during my so-called normal days, I diligently pray for healing and deliverance from depression, anxiety, fear, rejection, loneliness and many other negative emotions that may overtake me.

    Angie, you are a normal woman walking through an abnormal life experience -- we are lifting you up to the Lord in prayer ALWAYS. We will continue to pray for your protection. ALWAYS.

  15. You are in my thoughts and prayers as well as Brian. Your entire, wonderful family is in my thoughts and prayers...and will continue to be.

  16. Add me to the list of perfect strangers who are overcome with concern for YOU, Brian, and your whole family. Your posts always leave me with a heavy heart, but I check every day to hear about your journey. You're all in my heart and prayers every day!

  17. Great things are brought to pass by small and simple means. Meaning that your words, whether you think they are profound or not, are profound to many of us. Your courage, strength, and resiliance through this most trying time of your life is insightful.

    How grateful I am to you for sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. You have taught us how you search for the light amidst some pretty dark times. This is something that we all need to do when dark times interrupt our calm, ordinary days.

    I feel that because we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, that we are sisters. Yes, we have never met, but you can see that there are many of us who feel this same way. We care about you and your family. We smile with you, laugh with you, and cry with you.

    Don't feel guilty about taking your medication. If you need it to carry on, then it is serving a purpose. There will come a time when you can set them aside, but like the others have noted, this is definitely not that time.

    My prayers are with you and yours.

  18. I too come to read about you! Take care of yourself too. And I will be waiting for your next wity post!

    Praying for you all in AZ

  19. Thanks so much for the update!

    As for wisdom and wit . . . yours is everywhere!

    Take care, you!

    Hugs to Brian and the boys (and you, too!).

  20. I just sent him a short note - I think of you and your family often...

  21. you sound so tired. we are praying.

  22. I'm glad to hear that he finds joy in those emails. And glad to hear about YOU as well... : ) Hope you are feeling better today.