wit and wisdom

As promised, I have decided to bequeath you with some Angie wisdom and wit.

I was going to start with my evaluation of The Bachelor, ABC's ridiculous reality show. I can think of nothing more UNrealistic than this reality show. A man speed dates several women, makes out with most of them and in 6 weeks' time falls in love with several, proposes to one and usually breaks up a few months thereafter. I refuse to watch this show as I believe it exemplifies perfectly what is wrong with our relationships and marriages today - a lack of commitment and earnest effort towards making things work. Anyway, I did attend a bachelor party - or a Bachelor VIEWING party. I went to make fun of my friends who actually DO watch this show - for reals. I dressed in all white, carried my lace clutch, donned my pearls and wore my hair in an up do with my wedding veil - all in the spirit of total mockery. (and I would post a photo, but I didn't remember my camera and my friend that took the photo STILL has not sent it to me.) I also gave a running cynical commentary during the entire airing. That'll teach my friends to invite me to their earnest partyn for the sake of "some color."

What upset me most about this particular season was that this man, who subjected himself to a public breakup and on-screen heartache in a previous season of the Bachelorette, thus bestowing the same humiliation and pain to several women this season, is a single father. And he exposed his 3 year old boy to this confusion and unrealistic view of relationships and morals ON SCREEN. ABC, you have sunk to new ratings lows allowing this child to be brought into this mockery of courtship.

On Saturday night, I saw this perfect summary of this season of the Bachelor and how Jason will explain it to his son some day:


I figure why go through all the effort to be witty and wise when someone else has done it for you.

My second snippet of wit and wisdom is in regards to the child's haven, Chuck E Cheese's, which I am renaming Future Gamblers of America. I am convinced that Chuck E Cheese's is owned by Harrah's Casino and is grooming the next generation of Riverboat Regulars. Whatever happened to the Showbiz Pizza of yesteryear - the place where we played Pole Position and MsPacman, etc. - games that took our token and we actually PLAYED? My children now go through 20 tokens every 12.7 minutes mindlessly dumping them into random games of chance - games in which you watch the mesmerizing wheel go round pushing a blinking button 1.4 seconds later hoping it lands on the jackpot of 25 tickets so you can get a sub-standard dollar store piece of junk that will be destroyed before you reach the car to go home - causing a melt down of epic proportions. And I pay money for this - lots of money. Honestly, Chuck E Cheese's has morphed into slots for youth. Unfortunately, it is one of the only places to go in this town on a cold winter day and still get out of the house with kids.

You're welcome for walking away a little more bitter insightful today after reading this.

KEEP BELIEVING