Oh where, oh where has my little blog gone...

Bloggonit, it has been a VERY long time since I last posted. And there is good reason for that. I have not been home. And we do not own a laptop. We are stuck in this house to the old computer desk (which is now in the same room as the new Wii after some rearranging) if we want to cop some computer time.

I am sure I have lost just about every reader I had that read this blog for any reason OTHER than to find out how Brian fares. Since that is the case, the remainder of this post will be to update you on exactly that.

I had said that Brian was going to start chemo on Dec. 29th. We delayed that a week. He is now to start tomorrow, Jan 5, 2009. He has an appointment sometime in the morning. Only I have no idea what time because the last few weeks my brain has been in the toilet or covered in vomit or something along those lines and I don't know where I wrote it down but I didn't write it in my calendar and don't ask me why - I am sure it has something to do with vomit. I will explain.

On Wednesday night, Dec. 17th, Gavin complained of an upset tummy. He began vomiting around 10 pm that night and proceeded to upchuck no less than 7 times until around 10:00 am. He was on the mend, but missed school Thursday. On Thursday night we received one of our many recent ice storms, so school was cancelled on Dec. 19th. Gavin's Christmas break therefore started at the end of school on Dec 17th. When none of us showed signs of the stomach bug for the next three days I assumed we were in the clear. Not so. Brian woke up vomiting all day on Sunday, Dec 21. Grant began vomiting on Sunday evening. I never did. I told Brian, however, that it would be nothing short of a Christmas miracle if I didn't end up with this stomach virus. When I didn't get it for the next three days, I assumed that was the case. Rather, I awoke on Christmas morning with feelings of nausea and illness all day. The good news is that no one else in our extended family was plagued with the illness. No, there seems to be a special place reserved for us on Satan's hit list for ailments.

We were hopeful that Brian's episode that Sunday could be attributed to the bug, but we are not sure. You see, Brian has been having many of these episodes lately. Sometimes it is limited to once or twice in the morning with a pleasant afternoon. Other times, it lasts all day - for instance Dec. 13, Dec. 21, Jan 1. He had smaller episodes on Dec 24th, Dec 30th and Jan 4th. He just vomits. It is strange. It is scary. It is annoying for him. He can't make it to the bathroom in time, so he keeps a bucket nearby and that is embarrassing for him if the boys are around. We can't keep them away all the time, though, and we never know if or when he may be overcome with an urge to vomit. And I know this all sounds gross with the overuse of the word vomit, but it isn't really nausea. He is fine one moment and then just throws up the next, so the term 'vomiting fits' is the only way I know to explain it.

In addition, his right side appears to be getting weaker with some balance issues. Walking for much of a distance is growing more challenging and any sort of uneven surface is just about out at this point in time. He struggles to open most cans and his pill bottles, but insists on trying. He still navigates stairs as long as there is a railing.

He is tired a lot. He watches a lot of movies, TV and football right now. Sometimes he watches it like our dads have been able to do for so many years through closed eyelids and between snores.

All that being said, he is in decent spirits. Admittedly, we are both getting frustrated with the frustrations in our lives if that makes sense. We didn't let them get us down for the holidays, though. We went to my mom and dad's for several days and Santa came there. We spent the new year in Kansas City with Brian's entire family which was very pleasant. There was a lot of driving involved and since I am the ony driver now, it can be taxing on me, but we work through it. The last two weeks went by very quickly. Unfortunately, Brian woke up on New Year's Day with a full day of his vomiting spells. That wasn't the way he wanted to ring in the new year. He was much better most of the next day. He doesn't have much of an appetite in general, though. We were able to squeeze in many games of Euchre and a few board games with the kids. Let me just say that Brian is the best one handed Euchre dealer and player around.

I don't know what all of these issues mean for starting a new round of chemo. I have no idea if the episodes are something more to worry about or if the doctor will suggest we forgo chemo longer. I just don't know. He has his appointment SOMETIME tomorrow, so we will ask tomorrow. In the meantime, the surgeon also wants to meet with us on Tuesday to discuss whether or not he attempts some surgery in an effort to debulk and maybe give Brian some more time.

As you can clearly see, things are the same ol', same ol' here for us. Don't know what we are doing. Brian doesn't feel great, but tries his darnedest not to let it get him down. Kids start school again tomorrow. We mange some time for friends and family. We play each day by ear.

That's about it from here for now. I will write more this week.

KEEP BELIEVING