Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bad Day

I have had a bad day. Well ever since the hospice social worker was here and mentioned the word.... funeral...

I can't get past it.

I am tired.

I am weak.

I am sad.

I am overwhelmed.

I am scared.

I need a little break.

I will write the post on what people can do for us and who to contact tomorrow.

KEEP BELIEVING

58 comments:

  1. I am praying right now Angie.

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  2. Dearest Angie,

    sending you some gifts of love and open arms for hugs, even though they have to come all the way from CA right now.
    Sorry that they got you so upset with this visit.
    Seeing the Peace that surpasses all understanding being the top role player in all of this. Giving the whole list of upsets to God, for His Yoke is easy,and the load He puts on you is light. Matthew 11:30
    Love you means a basket of sweet smelling spiritual love roses for you, that they bless you heart and mind. Love you my dearest sister in the Lord Marjo

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  3. Angie - I just came upon your blog from I'm not sure where so this is my first comment. My heart goes out to you. Being a caregiver is such an exausting job physically, mentally, emotionally......I wish I could say something to help lift up your burden, if only for a short while. You all will be in my prayers. I hope you feel God's strength and are comforted by his love.

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  4. I don't have any great words of wisdom. I just want to let you know I am praying for you.

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  5. Hang in there, Angie!! Take a break and hang in there!! Kellan

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  6. Angie, You are also one of the most amazing persons that I've never met. Allow yourself those emotions. You deserve a break. -Karla

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  7. I am speechless, Angie. I don't have words of wisdom for you or anything else. All I can do is send you all my wishes and blessings. I'll have our pastor say a prayer for your family.

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  8. Still praying over here Angie. Wish I could just give you a hug.

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  9. Hi Angie,

    I'm new to your blog. My heart breaks to read what you are going through. I hate cancer, especially brain tumors.

    My son is a brain tumor suvivor.

    Please know I will keep you, your husband and sons in my prayers daily.

    Keep holding on to Jesus♥

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  10. I am so sorry. Praying now for you.

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  11. Angie, it's no wonder. You're exerting such a tremendous amount of strength right now, but something like that is enough to just put you over the edge ... temporarily. I pray that tomorrow you wake up with renewed strength and faith and the kind of determination you've shown these last few weeks. It's in you. Just give today to God and move on to tomorrow.

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  12. Praying for you, dearest Angie. Love, Shawn from TN

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  13. Thinking of you and praying for all of you.

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  14. That IS a hard word to digest isn't it?

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  15. I will be praying for you, all of you. It is a difficult thing to walk through the death of a loved one. But God is with you. Thru the grief, thru the shock, thru the anger, and thru the numbness and disbelief. He is there and He will never leave you.

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  16. I just wish I could take this all away for you right now. I'm always thinking of you, Brian, and the boys...and always praying...hoping...and amazed at you and Brian's faith and peace. I'm not sure what to say...I just want to make it all better..and I know the only one who can do that for you is HIM. Hold on Angie...help is on the way...HE will hold you up even when you can't continue...HE will help you to find the strength...the words...the way.

    Praying for peace and amazing closeness for you all during this time,
    Kris

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  17. All that you are feeling is so normal - very healthy, actually. Keep letting it out and know that you are in so many peoples prayers (including mine).
    Gretchen

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  18. Hope you are getting rest as you can. Prayers being lifted for you and the family.

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  19. Angie,
    If you're not ready to think about it, don't! When you're ready, I'm a pro at funeral planning (not something I include on my resume!)

    Love you!
    Kara

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  20. Angie,
    Please know I will help in what ever way you need. I will be home Friday so let me know when you are ready.
    My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, Julie J

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  21. Thinking and praying for you in Ohio...

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  22. I am crying and praying. I lost my first husband to an auto crash. I was a member of Al-Anon and he was an active alcholic. Just take one step at a time and believe that all your friends are here for you now and forever.

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  23. Angie: The beautiful thing is, when you have such a strong support group of believers this is when WE stand in the gap for you!!! Just know that we are all here for you and Brian. I remember a night many years ago when the only words that seemed to help were...Be still and know that I am God...I love ya so very much and will do anything you need at any time needed!!!
    Here to serve the Master,
    Rhonda

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  24. You continue to be in my thoughst every day...

    xoxoxo

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  25. Praying for you and your family without ceasing.
    Psalm 46:10
    Matthew 21:22
    Kaye

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  26. Angie,

    Words seem so inadequate against all of the emotions that you are feeling right now...just know that you are loved by many, expecially an Almighty God who is in control of all things and who will sustain you when your spirit is weary. Psalm 34:18 gives us this promise - The Lord is close to those who are brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

    The words to this song were of great comfort to me after the loss of my husband . . .

    Turn your eyes upon Jesus;
    Look full in His wonderful face,
    And the things of this earth will grow strangely dim;
    In the light of His glory and grace.

    I pray for you in this time that your spirit will be renewed with His peace and by His presence. I pray that you can turn your eyes upon Him and that He will bless you with His love, His mercy, and His grace each step you must take on this journey that lays ahead of you. In His Precious Son's Name I pray for you . . .

    Kim from Nebraska

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  27. Angie, Bind yourself tightly to Jesus and he will hold on to you when you feel like you are free falling. Know that those of us in St.Albert who knew and loved you weep with you. Continuing to pray for you all. Echo

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  28. It is so very sureal. No wonder you need a break.

    Peace and Prayers.....

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  29. I am with Echo!
    You are not ready for this and we are not ready for this. KEEP BELIEVING. This hospice social worker was not very sensitive...
    Love, Monika & Family.

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  30. Angie, I'm so sorry! Praying for you and your family. I can't imagine how I would be in your shoes but you are truly a strong, beautiful woman!

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  31. I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to contemplate. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  32. I am sending my prayers to your entire family as tears run down my face. May you all be lifted up to the Lord and receive comfort as this very difficult time. Hugs to you all.

    We love you!!

    Jon and Lisa

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  33. Let it out. Rest. Take time for you.

    Know that there are prayers, warm thoughts and a lot of love surrounding you . . .

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  34. Oh Angie I am so sorry, it is such a scary place to be. I KNOW you will be ok and will make it through with Christ, it is just something that is hard to accept that God is allowing this for your life. Go hold your boys and look into their eyes and know that you can do this for them and for Brian. I am so very sorry.
    Paige

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  35. Oh sweetie, my heart just skipped a beat for you when I read that. Please know that we are crying along with you and just wish that we could do something. anything. besides the prayers that are already being prayed. besides the thoughts that we are sending. besides the hopes we KEEP BELIEVING.

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  36. Praying for you! You and your family are loved.

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  37. Forgot to add--calling hospice was a very brave move and one that you will be thankful for. We used hospice for a family member and are forever grateful to the staff. Even now, we send donations. You are a smart mom and wife.

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  38. I am so sorry. I don't even know you (I came through a Twitter Tweet by Texas Holly) but had to say how sorry I am that this has happened to you and your beautiful family. It seems like you have some very loving people around you. I truly wish strength and as much peace as possible for you all.

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  39. Angie honey. I am so sorry about this. For the past few days I have been unable to leave a comment for some reason. But you have been in my prayers. constantly.

    So much love.
    Hospice is a wonderful resource. They were angels when my MIL was alive.
    God Be with you darlin'

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  40. *HUGS* Angie.

    To you, Brian and the boys.

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  41. first time visiting, and my heart is breaking for your family {hugs}

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  42. I am sorry, Angie. That's so unbelievably hard to deal with, I'm sure. I hope you get a break soon.

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  43. I am sending virtual strength and prayers your way at mock-speed Angie. There isn't a day that goes by that you aren't all in my heart and prayers. Please know that.

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  44. Please let us know what we can do Angie. Hugs

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  45. Angie and family,
    I also came upon this blog quite accidently, or so I thought. By now I should know nothing is accidental with God. I guess He puts people in places for a reason. He knew you needed prayers from many and so He showed me the way to you through your blog. I am amazed at all you have been through and the wonderful way you have written this with such thoughtful and loving
    words. I believe healing and strengh will come to you through this, what a wonderful way to keep people who know you informed, and even if you don't realize this yet, your words are a way to relieve your stress and anxiety.

    Please know that even those of us who don't know your family personally, care and pray that you will find the strength to endure all you are going through. In times of our greatest need, God is closest to us. He hears all your worries, knows all your concerns, and has you wrapped in His loving arms. Give Him your troubles, take time to cry, its ok to feel the way you do. Know many of us care and will keep you all in our prayers.

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  46. Angie,

    I don't know you, but I read you and your most recent post is wrong. You are not weak. You are so very strong and your family is so lucky to have you. Prayers... lots of them.

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  47. You and your family have my thoughts and prayers.

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  48. I am praying and hurting for you.
    Please have grace on yourself and do something that feels good. Loving you.

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  49. Angie,

    We are standing in the gap, holding you up in prayer. When I was going through a very difficult time years ago every time I went to bed I would sing the song "Hold me Jesus" by Rich Mullins as I was drifting off to sleep. It was comforting to know that I was in His very able arms!

    In HIS Love,
    Becky

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  50. I prayed for you, Brian and your boys last night while praying with my son. He asked who you were and I just said, "our friends in Christ that need our prayers." We will repeat tonight and the next night and so on...

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  51. I'm so sorry that the "F" word came up. I was just shocked to read it, I can't imagine how it was to hear it. It is unfortunate that we sit here, merely human, trying to figure out what God is doing. He doesn't give us a glimpse into the future, a peek at his PERFECT PLAN, or a letter telling us why this is happening. He just says his strength is made perfect in weakness. He says He is all you need. He says He will NEVER ever leave you or forsake you. He says He knew all the days of your life before you were even formed. He says the sorrow may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning. He says TRUST ME. He says your ways are NOT His ways.

    Count us as another family who is standing in the gap for you right now. You are being lifted up, we share your sorrow and your pain and we go boldy before God FOR you.

    We love you dearly.

    Janell H.

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  52. Angie, I am thinking of you and your family constantly.

    Take time to cry scream and yell!!

    Hugs to you, and yes please let "strangers" know how they can help too!!

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  53. Right now my own husband must think I have lost my mind, as I sit on my computer with silent tears rolling down my cheeks. I feel so much for you and your boys and your husband right now it is phenominal. I want to tell you to hang in there, I want to give you a hug, I want to hold your boys and make sure they know how loved they are and how blessed they are to have what they have, I want to take all the pain away and make everything right...but I know that absolutely nothign I can say or do will change the way you feel and because of that I will sit here with siltent tears and your family in my heart for many days to come.

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  54. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you and your family.

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  55. Praying for you. Hang in there. I just read your list of what people can do. It is perfect. I hope you can share this with others some day. I wish more people would do this.

    Peace-
    Indy

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  56. Praying for you and your family. I cannot imagine how difficult this time is, but I can give you all the support I can. You are in my thoughts throughout the day.

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