Friday, March 7, 2008

How old are you anyway?

Something strange has started to happen in our lives. We have entered into a dimension that is uncharted for us, a zone for which we were not prepared, and a phase we are reluctant to accept. Sometime recently, Brian and I have become - ONE OF THE OLDEST MEMBERS OF THE GROUP! doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo (twilight zone if you didn’t get it. sorry) In the past year, I have noticed that when I sign up for organizations including mothers of young children, or I put the boys in an activity, I am one of the older moms attending. It seems like overnight I went from young, hip, rookie mom to older, wise, mentor mother. What happened and WHEN?

A few months ago, Brian and I went out for a night on the town while my mom (older, wiser, mentor mother) offered so graciously to keep the boys. We decided to go to an upscale bar/grill with good food and live music. This is not a downtown, barely 20’s, meat-market, college, dance hall-type establishment. It’s a nice place. I looked around and noticed that the majority demographic was that of one less advanced in years than we. I pointed this out to Brian who promptly told me to speak for myself. (He is 8 months younger than me and LOVES IT.)

Me: Seriously. Don't you notice this more and more often?
Brian: No, I don't.
Me: Brian, don't you remember when you used to say when referring to a co-worker or colleague, 'He’s older than us, he is in his late 30's or so?' We are quickly approaching that. (1/2 empty)
Brian: Yeah, but we're not there yet. (1/2 full)
Me: Regardless, it is not a qualified statement to say ‘someone in their late 30s or early 40s is quite a bit older than us’ anymore.
Brian (looking around): We are not some of the oldest people in here. You are just saying that because earlier there were high school homecoming kids here.
Me: No, they are dancing in the gym now. They have been replaced by mid-to-late-20 and early-30-year-olds. Look around.
Brian (looking around a bit more desperately): We are younger than a few tables in here. Look at them.
Me (looking at the silver-haired group down the way): Yup, we are younger than them.
Brian: And them.
Me (Looking at a table of 4 that I have been watching for a while): That is because that is a mom and dad taking their daughter and boyfriend out to dinner.
Brian: Well we are younger than half of them.
Me: Whatever. You are reaching. We are getting older and you have to deal with it.

I must interject here that Brian literally doesn't remember how old he is. A few days before his 33rd birthday, I started commenting about approaching his mid 30s.

Brian: I'm not approaching mid-30s.
Me: Well, not exactly, but 33 is getting there (1/2 empty)
Brian: It would be if I was going to be 33, but I'm not.
Me (thinking he was kidding): You're not?
Brian: No
Me: Oh yeah, how old are you going to be, 29 again?
Brian: No, 31
Me: (realizing he means this) No you're not. This is the year you turn 33.
Brian: Are you sure about that?
Me: Positive.
Brian: Huh. I have been telling people at work all week that I am going to be 31
Me: Well, you lied.
Brian: Oops.

I have a great group of girlfriends from church. We do a lot of girls’ nights outs and try to get together a few times a month. I had suspected that I was one of the older ones, but didn’t know to what degree. Eventually, I found out I am the oldest. Three are above 30 and the other four are still below. The funny part about this group is that I have established myself, unintentionally, as intelligent and wise. They are bright, beautiful, educated insightful women that I adore, so this should be an honor. I told Brian that I thought I was possibly the oldest in this group, so when I learned this truth, I told him when I arrived home that night.

Brian: Yup, you are getting old.
Me: The funny part is that they think I am smart, too.
Brian: You are smart.
Me: Well, I don’t like to come across as too smart to people I don’t know well yet so they won’t be intimidated by my superior intelligence.
Brian: (ignores me)
Me: Seriously, though. I was actually told tonight that I know a lot about stuff.
Brian: (giggles. Not a smirk or sigh, but an AUDIBLE giggle.)
Brian: Sorry. Really?

When I told him the comment arose after I defined the difference between a taquito and a flauta, he laughed out loud.



  1. LOL!!! taquito and a flauta!! Holy crap that was funny. You are only as old as your feel! Like I always tell people "on my next b-day I will be twenty thirteen". This way I am always in my twenties. :)


  2. You are too funny! I totally relate with you on the mature, mentor mom thing...especially when I am doing things with Luke. With my 1st child I was the young mom as I had her in my 20's. Having #4 at 33 puts you in the mature mentor mom phase. I do have one advantage, husband is 4 years older than me and most of our friends are at least that or more. I used to hate being the youngest in our group...but now I LOVE it! I love to tease them that they getting so old - 40th Birthday parties are so much fun when you are planning them for other people! All that being truly are only as old as you feel!

  3. I am 27... and I am already starting to feel as you do :-( One is corn and the other is flour right right?! :)

  4. Angie, you are smart, keep believing!

  5. DANG, we are old! I keep forgetting. ben

  6. How well I know that feeling. I was the baby of the group when the 23 year old was in kindergarten. Now, with the 13 year old, not so much!

  7. You, my dear, are a baby.

  8. That was such a funny post!!!!
    My husband is always laughing at me because I've always felt "older" growing up, even though I was always youngest in my class.
    Now that we're in our 40s (and he's in his mid-40s- whaaaa??!!!), we KNOW we're the oldest of all the couples we've started socializing with (parents of our kids friends). I'm trying so hard to stay young, ie. 30-ish!!! They're all around your age.
    I had my 3 year old the year I turned 39.
    You guys are still young... and very cute!

  9. I'm sorry Angie, I couldn't make out part of your post, I couldn't find my glasses, so when I got up to look for them I remembered that I needed to go take my daily vitamin...but when I got into the kitchen I forgot what I was doing in I came back in here and then I sneezed and peed in my pants a little so I went to the bathroom and saw a bottle of I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to take my vitamin, and I found my glasses, then I came back in here, but I was too tired to read anymore. Oh, was it about getting older? Hmmmm...wouldn't know anything about that!

  10. This post was too funny and it's only because I know exactly what your talking about. I am 44 and my husband is 5 years younger. He thinks he is even younger that he actually is. I have a 4 year old and I am definitely the oldest mom out of the preschool moms. My oldest is 24 so I was once the young, cool, mom too. Although my 17 year old wants to know when this actually was.

  11. The problem is that after a certain age people have achieved some financial success... They have then purchased pool tables, swimming pools, home theatre systems, etc. etc. etc. This means they are all staying home more - cuz now it's lots of fun... (and we're kinda tired around 10:00) and when I go to a dueling piano bar, or anywhere that would be a fun night out... the people there are my kids' age. And though I don't look like an OLD 44, inside I want to tell that 21 y.o. in the corner that her bf is a jerk and she could do much better, and I don't feel at all weird talking to young women I don't know, since they are about my daughters' age and they don't have that snotty female rivalry attitude going on towards me.

    When I was in Boston at Jake Ivory's I had to leave as the place got really busy around midnight - I felt really foolish just being there - like the gray haired guy who took his vette out for a car cruise on Saturday night when I was a teenager and we all rolled our eyes as he drove by.

  12. Very funny story...I completely understand your observations about the crowds being younger and how things change when you 'grow up'.

  13. I had to LOL at the taquito/flauta thing, too!
    I'm having that same realization. Almost every teacher my 10-year-old has is younger than me. It hurts.

    Blog Hoppin',
    Balancing Hops

  14. Haha funny - I guess after a certain point when age is something to count down to (21!!), you just kind of lose track of the numbers. You know what made me feel old? The other day a totally random stranger on the elevator said to me "daaaamnn! you got a lot of grey hair!!" A total stranger. My only answer was "well... I'm old." I'm learning to embrace (1/2 full).

  15. Alright Angie!!! Taquito and Flauta is very usefull knowledge in our margarita loving group!!!
    You know how much we LOVE you...and I of course love the fact that I now have some one to be my partner in the 35 and older category of our group. Hey---40 is the new 20 anyway---Just think about all the awesome aspects to your vast personality that make you a much better, deeper, more caring/loving woman/wife/mother---that you never would have been even able to fathom in your 20somethings!!!
    Keep being you...because we ADORE you!!!
    LOVE YA---Kris

  16. I feel exactly the same way. I'm 34 and suddenly find myself sitting at a bar with my friend looking around KNOWING I'm the oldest one there...

    When I was married I realized that my husband was turning 40 and all I coudl think was - holy crap - I'm married to a 40 year old!

    So it does get worse ;)

  17. As the old woman in this room full of toddlers I have only one thing to add... LOLOLOL! When you get to the far side of Hill Five-0, if you are lucky and really selfsecure, you realize that you don't give a rip what everyone thinks and, like the old guy in the corvette, you go drivin' with the top down at midnight with 70s rock blaring and actually get a kick out of the weird looks you get because you know that every one of those little snits will get there some day. You just hope you'll still be around to get to say I TOLD YOU SO! It's all ONLY NUMBERS! LOL!

  18. Talking about being the older mommy....sheeesh, you are a young thang. I know what you mean about going from a young mom to mommy,mentor, one of some great wisdom (chuckle) I feel blessed by all the young moms that surround me.

  19. You are only as old as you are tall.