Christmas is offically over

I know most bloggers wrote their post-Christmas, sappy, back to reality blogs 1-1/2 weeks ago, but for us, Christmas was officially over this weekend. We like to spread things as thin as possible and eek out as much fun and enjoyment as we can, so we spread it to January 5. This past weekend was Christmas with my family at my mom’s. They retired in Southeast Missouri about 4 hours south of here. The boys have the time of their lives when we are visiting, and because there is really no place to go when we are there, we all have each other’s undivided attention. Every time we leave my family, I get the blues. Probably because I haven’t lived in the same town, state, and sometimes country as my family in over 12 years and probably never will. Because we are so 100% TOGETHER when we do gather, it is especially hard to leave. You have no idea how badly I wish we lived close enough to meet my sister for lunch, or to Christmas shop together, or to grab a cup of coffee with my dad, or to catch my nieces’ games without having to make it a weekend and a 4-6 hour trip. It is EXTREMELY difficult to leave, but that is reality. So this week is our BACK TO REALITY week. To make it extra real, we have tried to squeeze in as many unpleasant events as possible to kick start the new year – dentist appointments for the boys, a tooth filling replacement for Brian, my monthly cycle, putting away Christmas decorations, cloudy and rainy weather, and to top it off, the next cycle of chemo for Brian this weekend. I might schedule immunizations for the boys just for fun since they’re due for those anyway.

Back to reality for me is very difficult. It means thinking about the week ahead. It means organizing, cleaning, managing, budgeting, shopping, exercising, and reflecting. After a long break from reality, I spend a lot of time pondering the events that just past. Vague thoughts like –

Did I enjoy it enough?
Was I nice to people?
Did I spend as much time as possible with those I love and those that made an effort to see us?
Did I spend as much time and conversation as possible with those I made an effort to see?
What will Brian’s condition be next Christmas – did I make this as enjoyable as possible for him?
Will my kids be as excited and animated next Christmas – did I enjoy them enough?
Was I crabby?
Did I relax?
Why did I eat so much?
Was I thankful enough?
Why did I drink so much?
Was I generous enough?
Etc.

Always, I am greeted with the same answer. Of course, I could have done MORE of any of those things. (except eat and drink – I don’t know if that is possible) I could always spend more time, be more generous, enjoy more, etc. (1/2 empty) Brian told me yesterday during the car ride home that I would make myself crazy with those thoughts. Why would I spend time asking myself regretful hypothetical questions instead of reflecting on the joy the last two weeks brought us? (1/2 full) So here are some of the joyful memories the last two weeks brought me:

Children smiling
Children playing
Children believing
Children indulging
Time with family rarely seen
Reconnecting with friends seen even less.
Laughter
Good food
Micro-brew beer
A gift of some extra cash for our bank account
Adults smiling
Adults playing
Adults believing
Adults sacrificing
Lots of card playing
Dinner at Alexander’s
A gift of ¼ of a cow in my freezer
Good health (except for some coughs and sniffles scattered throughout)
Lots of time together in our home with little distraction

KEEP BELIEVING

Floss Patrol

I couldn't think of a good name for today's post. Naming the post and ending the post are the hardest parts.

Brian and I had dentist appointments this week. Every time we go to the dentist, I come home on a floss kick. I don't floss every day. I know I should, but I don't. I have very tightly spaced teeth, so even with the gliding floss, it snaps against my gums, causing pain, bleeding and discomfort. If I floss regularly, my gums build up a resistance and it doesn't hurt as much. I usually get busted at the dentist with the inevitable,
"Have you been flossing?"
"Not really."
"You really should."
"I know."
So, in the weeks just before and just after my dentist appointments, I get on flossing kicks. During this time, I harass Brian about his lack of flossing. He NEVER flosses. N.E.V.E.R. AND THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING TO HIM ABOUT IT AT THE DENTIST. We were talking in the car after the "quiet, please" experience about his dentist appointment that day.

Brian: Oh, by the way. I totally got busted on the flossing thing.
Me: Oh, yeah? I bet. How did they know? Did your gums bleed or something?
Brian: No.
Me: How did they know then?
Brian: Well, she asked me, and I didn't lie; I said, "no." But it was pretty obvious.
Me: What do you mean? How could it be obvious?
Brian: Well, she went in with the floss and pulled out a big piece of popcorn.
Me: Gross.
Brian: Yeah, totally busted. (laughing)
Me: (laughing, then thinking) When was the last time you HAD popcorn anyway?
Brian: (laughing harder) Like 2 or 3 days ago!
Me: Nice. I kiss that mouth

I, of course, was planning to blog about this and before we went to bed that night, he saw the wheels turning in my head.

Brian: You know, just because I tell you something doesn't make it common knowledge.
Me: I know, but I have made you out to be a saint lately and this is blogworthy.
Brian: I am going to stop telling you stuff.
Me: Brian, I would never post your inner most thoughts, our deep conversations, or things that happen "in the bedroom." But the inner most particles between your teeth, Babe, are public domain.

I bet he is wishing he would have told me "in the bedroom" instead of the car.

KEEP BELIEVING

(BTW, I have to say that flossing for Brian is hard becauase his right hand cannot hold that tiny piece of string tightly anymore)