Sunday, August 1, 2010

how far we've come... & the job

I was perusing through some of my old blog posts today as I was feeling rather nostalgic for some reason. Today, I was sitting at church and I realized that I was sitting alone, clapping singing and praising along and feeling completely and totally comfortable. A year ago, it PAINED me to sit at church alone. I remember the first time I did it and how I continually wiped the involuntary tears that kept dripping from my eyes. It was a constant reminder of my new found and unwanted relationship status (aka. the box you check on forms like single, divorced, widowed, separated).

 I cannot even believe how far I have come in less than a year and a half from the fear, anxiety and overwhelming heavy sadness that plagued me at the thought of school and routine last year. It breaks my heart to read about the pain we were all enduring this time last year...

But, also makes me feel triumphant at the progress we all have made.

Also, I  noticed I lost weight and toned myself considerably compared to last year's summer photos. So, that is just an added bonus.

Irrelevant photo to ease transition to next topic:

Anyway, I wanted to share a little about my job I briefly mentioned in the last blog post.

I have been praying, seeking God's guidance, in the area of my life related to how I spend my time. I was in a pretty selfish comfort zone right now during school time spending a couple hours at the gym working out and socializing with my friends several times a week.  I was also volunteering some at church a couple times a month and once a week in the school library. Still, my afternoons were spent shopping and wasting countless hours on the Internet or whatever else was relatively unproductive. I knew this is not honoring to God. I knew that I needed to do something to become a more contributing member of society whether it be volunteering more or becoming gainfully employed.

In God's perfect timing, a job literally fell into my lap. I was speaking to a friend about a position she just received at a local grade school as an admin assistant working only hours the kids are in school and part time. I said the next time she found out about a job like that to send it my way. She sent me an email that night showing me reqs for all the schools in my district. So, I inquired and received a request for an interview the same day. After the interview, I was offered the job a couple hours later if I wanted it. They were going to cancel the interviews they had the next week if I was interested. So, I prayed about it and called my mom to ask her opinion. The job should be low stress and perfect hours for my situation. However, it is very VERY low pay and will do little to supplement our financial situation. It may extend my 5 year plan to keep going status quo to a 6 year plan (I am 1 year into the plan now). My mom told me that if I didn't NEED the money right now, she thought I would be crazy to pass it up for the hours and for the possibility of what else could come from it in the future within the school district or within the community through connections I may make. I hadn't really thought of it that way. I just looked at it as something that wasn't worth disrupting my very comfortable status quo for very little money. I thought my mom would tell me I was crazy for taking a job like that when my degree and experience qualified me for something much more challenging with much better pay. I liked her perspective and felt it was a very God-honoring one, so I took the job.

I have a couple training and introductory sessions that I will attend the next couple weeks until I start more officially on the first day of school - August 18th. I am becoming more excited about it. At first I resented it as another inevitable step towards being a single parent who also has to work (realizing, of course, that I am BEYOND BLESSED I have not had to and don't HAVE to for a while). But, as Brian always did, I realize my response to this is a choice. I CHOOSE to enter this job excited about the possibility of the lives God will have me impact and of the lives that can impact mine. I CHOOSE to honor God and do the best I can possibly do as if I am serving HIM. Honoring and serving my employer with the same joy and dedication that I would serve Him is His command for us.

Colossions 3:23: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...

3/23 is my birthday, so I consider this MY verse. I just didn't know how relevant it would be until this past month. I love how God works like that.