Monday, January 28, 2008

The Booger Vault

In keeping with the disgusting, dirty little boys theme I started with my last post, I thought I would share the following discovery:

Several weeks ago, when putting Gavin to bed, I saw this above his headboard.

“What is that on your wall?” I inquired. Gavin smirked. Upon closer observation, I noticed several more streaks on the wall just beyond the headboard slats.

“Gavin, what IS that? Seriously, it looks like…. Oh no…don’t tell me…”
Gavin replied without remorse, “Well, Mom, my nose gets boogers when I lay down.” “WHY DON’T YOU BLOW IT THEN?” I impatiently inquire. He retorts, “NO! I HATE blowing my nose!”

He hates blowing his nose, but picking it and decorating the wall with booger sprinkles is apparently acceptable.

Super Close Up

I don’t know why I am surprised, really. Based on my first road trip with Brian, I should have known that Booger Vaults are an element of male organizational skills. Brian and I had been dating mere months when I found myself in his car for an extended duration, looked out the corner of my eye, and saw IT. I caught him mid-pick. Due to the seedling stage of our relationship I contemplated calling him out in this incriminating predicament. I didn’t contemplate long, however, and began to chuckle. I expected an awkward scratch-pick cover-up when he realized he was busted. Rather, he looked at me without remorse and stated, “Sometimes you gotta pick to get the stubborn ones out.” “Gross, maybe you could use a Kleenex, and by the way, I don’t have one.” Brian was a junior in college, so rest assured, there were no Kleenex in his car, not even a Wendy’s napkin in sight. He looked at me as if I had suddenly sprouted several extra key facial features and declared,

“What would I need THAT for?”

“Because you have a booger on your finger now.”

“So. I’ll just roll it up in a ball,” as he shows me the fine art of rolling drying mucus into a tightly rounded sphere between thumb and forefinger.

“Oh. My. Word. THEN what do you do with it?”

“THEN, it goes in the Booger Vault,” as he reaches down between the drivers seat and driver’s door.

“Disgusting. Now you just have a bunch of boogers hanging out next to your door in the ‘Booger Vault’”

“That’s the beauty of the booger vault. They disappear.”

Unfortunately, Gavin’s booger vault did not disappear. It has taken hot soapy water, Simple Green and Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser, yet STILL some remains.



  1. Oh that brings back such memories! When Twig was 6-1/2 he did the same thing, only he lined them up on the top of his headboard and knew how many he had lest I dare to wash them off. "It's my COLLECTION, MOOOOMMMMMM!!! Everybody gets to have a collection of something!" I wiped it off a few times, but always found more, so I gave up and honored his collection. Then one day when he was 7 he finally decided it was time to clean it up himself when a friend came over and told him how gross it was. His friend was a girl. And so began a new and even more challenging phase of his life! LOL!!

  2. You are really laid back!

  3. These are the parts of motherhood no one bothered to tell us. I never got read the chapter in Child development class that explained exactly why kids put boogers on the wall by their bed! I must have been absent that day. =) If you find a good way to scrap them off let me know!


  4. Oh lord, woman, you're making me VERY nervous about raising boys.

    Although, apparently girls are gross too, b/c my Sis-in-law used to wipe her "eye boogers" on the wall of her bedroom. It's not quite as gross, but it's still gross.

  5. Don't leave the booger smearing to the boys! My #2 daughter has her collection smeared on her wall right beside where she sleeps. She has a whole box of Kleenex on her night stand right beside her and she doesn't even mind blowing her nose most of the time (she is 7!) I told her how gross that is and that I have taken a picture to blackmail her with so her friends can see how gross she is. She still doesn't care and continues to do it! If anyone has any ideas how to stop this disgusting behavior, I would be happy to hear about it too!

  6. I think girls would be harder to break from doing it because any boy they *like* might think it was actually cool thus reinforcing the behavior! Just another in my long list of reason why boys are easier to raise than girls. LOLOL!

  7. Oh. My. I thought the slug in the shower was gross, and was pretty much resigned to blame that all on my husband. Now I'm not so sure. I was trying to catch up on your posts since I haven't been able to read over the last few days, but I think I may stop right now.

  8. Oh my god.. I am crying over here.. is this what I get to look forward to with two boys?? LOL