I took another step towards becoming crazy cat lady this week...

So, you may remember from last summer and fall that I struggled with certain things relating to moving on in my tangible world after Brian’s death. One of those things was purging his items and taking over that space.


Taking over his space has remained an issue for me for a variety of reasons, none of which have anything to do with guilt associated with moving on. (Oh what wonders time and God have done for relieving me of guilt associated with moving forward with life!)

One reason I have for not wanting to take over Brian’s living quarters is that I don’t want to accept that I have a problem. That problem being a surge in my wardrobe, thus requiring more space. Facts are facts, though and suddenly my bras and panties do not fit in one drawer as they used to. My shorts are overflowing and constantly wrinkled being shoved into the allotted space they used to occupy. My jewelry will no longer allow the door on the mirror/box to close effectively. Call it retail therapy. Call it a desire to change and update my look. Call it whatever you want. I’m busting at the seams and I need more room.

Another reason I have not wanted to invade drawers and closets that have remained empty for the last several months is that if I admit I take up this much room, how am I ever going to have enough space for someone else in my life? And this is what I know: I want someone else in my life. I want it to be the right person and I am trusting God to provide in this context, but I really want to share my life again someday. If I continue like this, I’ll have to add on unless they come bearing only one carryon and one checked bag. (I won’t even charge for it.)


Finally, to invade Brian’s space means succumbing to both the above facts and facing that I am single that much longer. I know that some people that have been single and not accountable to another adult for extended durations of time can become… well… strange. They develop strange standards for living and home life. Bizarre habits can form. They get irritable and intolerable and easily annoyed. They just get a little odd. I don’t want to admit that I could become that person the longer I am single.



Still, with the breakup of the boyfriend I am nowhere near sharing my life and space with someone, and with the expanding wardrobe and overflowing accessory arsenal, I could use some extra space. I HAVE the space. I just didn’t want to admit I needed to use it. So, I took over two empty drawers this week with my personal belongings.

I guess I will just have to trust in the efficacy of Space Bags if I ever do find love again.

KEEP BELIEVING