disrespectin' ya

Dear Brian,

I have gradually been working my way through some of your personal belongings. I have divvied your coveted Grateful Dead tie-dye amongst your brothers. I have saved some of your caps for the boys, yet passed on a few others to your family and friends. I have gone through your sweatshirts and business shirts and tee shirts trying to find good homes for those worthy of keeping. I have boxed up others in preparation for a trip to good will some day. Yet still many things remain. The boys find treasures every so often that they play with or sort through or simply oooohh and aaaaahhh over. Your shoes found a home this weekend with Uncle Paul - one of the few size 9ers in the family. Plus, he is equally as bow-legged as you, so I joke that they are already properly worn in for him.

I am trying really hard to find suitable homes for your tangible belongings while honoring your memory with their distribution. I enjoy thinking of someone to pass a certain item to. I enjoy the reaction of the recipient.

Also, I enjoy finding new purposes for the space. Your walk in closet has become home to the pack n play thus providing the new little baby girls in our family a private room. Your wardrobe has become part linen closet. Each time I replace one of your storage spaces with a new item, I think of it as practicality and sometimes I even think it would make you smile.

However, today, I disrespected you in this sense. After hospice disposed of your medicines and I disposed of expired vitamins, supplements and other over-the-counter products that served no purpose and held no nostalgic value, I found a new purpose for your toiletries drawer.

Forgive me.

KEEP BELIEVING