surgery...... Saturday?

So, the hospital FINALLY has an answer that surgery will be, AT BEST, Friday night and most likely Saturday morning. So, I, naturally, find this unacceptable and let the nurse know this:

• We have been asking all day. Why are we finding out at 8:30 PM there will be no procedure tomorrow when we have been asking all day? What about the 3 other people that gave us indication it would happen on Friday? I went through every level of communication I knew to go through - called the DR. Office. talked with the educator of the floor nursing staff, talked with the head nurse of the nursing staff, talked with the Physician Assistant of the surgeon, talked with the Nurse Practitioner for the Surgeon, talked with the staff nurse caring for Brian on every shift. Told them we have finally come to terms with a limited life and want to spend it surrounded by family and friends and loved ones in OUR environment. Came into this hospital for what we were told would be a quick and easy procedure. Now Brian is going to be in there for 4 days total.

Then I was told to talk to the head nurse. So I explained this:

• We have been asking all day. Why are we finding out at 8:30 PM there will be no procedure tomorrow when we have been asking all day? What about the 3 other people that gave us indication it would happen on Friday? I went through every level of communication I knew to go through - called the DR. Office. talked with the educator of the floor nursing staff, talked with the head nurse of the nursing staff, talked with the Physician Assistant, talked with the Nurse Practitioner for the Surgeon, talked with the staff nursed caring for Brian times every shift. Told them we have finally come to terms with a limited life and want to spend it surrounded by family and friends and loved ones in OUR environment. Came into this hospital for what we were told would be a quick and easy procedure. Now Brian is going to be in there for 4 days total.

Then I was told I could speak with a resident if I wanted. I said yes. They need to understand the decisions they make and the things they do impact human beings. Human beings with emotions and families and lives who are not working currently because of illness, so while this may be their job - this is our life. And then I told him this:

• We have been asking all day. Why are we finding out at 8:30 PM there will be no procedure tomorrow when we have been asking all day? What about the 3 other people that gave us indication it would happen on Friday? I went through every level of communication I knew to go through - called the DR. Office. talked with the educator of the floor nursing staff, talked with the head nurse of the nursing staff, talked with the Physician Assistant, talked with the Nurse Practitioner for the Surgeon, talked with the staff nursed caring for Brian times every shift. Told them we have finally come to terms with a limited life and want to spend it surrounded by family and friends and loved ones in OUR environment. Came into this hospital for what we were told would be a quick and easy procedure. Now Brian is going to be in there for 4 days total.

And I was told all I had to do was ask a resident and I would have had an answer. And I was even angrier because if that is the case, why isn't the resident the one coming in and telling us the news? Why are they not more accessible? Why do they make the nurses do it? And why did I talk to so many freaking people today to get an answer to something that should have been a no brainer (no tasteless pun intended)

AND? AND! The schedule is full for surgeries that we planned for weeks in advance. So, this really should have been known and communicated.

We have been through the bureaucracy of teaching hospitals so many times. What I was trying to get across is that the too thick layers of communication should be transparent to the patient instead of fresting on the patient. It is not right. And I am tired of living through it. I am tired of dealing with medical language and terminology and procedures and delays and knowing more than a common person should know and knowing more than the stinking interns that come and poke around on my husband know and repeating myself more times than I do to my own children and getting no sleep and dealing with crap I shouldn't have to. You know?

And so my frustration now lies with precious moments we lost as family and friends and an entire DAY of time lost now while Brian sits there awaiting scheduling. Time that cannot be replaced. Time that has Brian surrounded by a medical staff and pokes and prods, and pupil checks, etc.

One thing I did manage to accomplish, though, is convincing the doctor to back off on checking Brian's vitals, etc. tonight. He is not the typical patient. We are beyond the point of unnecessary diagnostics and monitoring. Let the man rest. He agreed to this after I told him that "sorry just wasn't enough sometimes. The lack of communication was avoidable and that makes it more difficult to excuse."

By the way, I kept my composure very well and was able to calmly and cooly explain in a very rational voice and tone to each person our situation. I truly believe they all feel bad about what is going on. But, it doesn't mean I don't want to tell them to stuff their sorries in a sack. (the resident anyway. I actually feel sorry for the nurses.)




And yes, I will be calmer tomorrow. I have to stop writing these moments after these conversations. But it does give you a bigger glimpse into our lives. And why we wanted to avoid the hospital as much as possible at this point.

KEEP BELIEVING