home again, home again, jiggity jig...

Home again.

From the hospital again.

Gavin was discharged last evening after his second dose of antibiotics. He improved most of the night on Tuesday night and into Wednesday. He began running a low grade fever on Wednesday early afternoon which responded very well to Motrin. He also began eating and drinking. And then he began peeing. A ton. Like every 45 minutes. It was as if his little body finally said, "okay, I believe you will keep giving me a drink, so I will now release this fluid I have been holding onto for the last three days." and the floodgates were raised.

I gave him Motrin last night as a precautionary measure to ensure he didn't wake with a high fever again. He is keeping everything down now and really appears to be on the mend. I am keeping him home from school for the rest of the week so I can watch his breathing and listen to him to ensure the fluid is not building up. I also just want to keep him adequately rested for another few days. We follow up with his pediatrician this afternoon.

My Mom is going home again today. We were going to have a house full of people this weekend (my family) but I cancelled. I cancelled as soon as I realized things with Gavin were pretty serious and now I am glad I did. We just need time to be a family. A family of 4 with no doctor's appointments or hospital stays or houseguests. We need to be normal. Well, as normal as a family of 4 fighting cancer and pneumonia can be. As normal as a family of 4 who have not all slept in the same house for 7 nights can be.

Brian is doing pretty good. He is having a lot of issues and discomfort with his joints. The steroids can cause this and we are tapering off the steroids, but we are thinking we might be tapering too fast. It is always difficult to know if the weakness is from the cancer and the brain or from other causes. This is difficult to manage.

Brian's oncologist appointment on Wednesday went well. Gavin was doing okay, so my mom stayed with him while I left the hospital for the first time in 54 hours. Plus, he was a grump (rightfully so) and I needed a little break from him. At the appointment, it was decided to repeat the scan in about a month and determine what chemo to continue based on those results. The chemo he was taking and we are considering continuing inhibits healing, so whenever there is a surgical procedure, the chemo is discontinued for 3-4 weeks prior and 3-4 weeks after the procedure.

Then I picked up Grant from school since I had not seen him since Sunday at bed time. I missed him terribly, and he needed his mommy. We went to the hospital together and visited his grumpy brother. We got an ice cream and went up and down elevators, explored the outdoors on a walk and raced each other in the walkways connecting the building.

Still, today we have an appointment for Gavin and Brian has an appointment on Friday to get his stitches and staples removed.

I am tired. Tired of hospitals. Tired of issues. Tired of making appointments. Tired of cancelling and rescheduling everything else. Tired of no routine. Tired of worries. Tired of illness. Tired of choosing which member of my family I spend my time with. Tired of deciding where to sleep. Tired of germs. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.

This weekend we are doing nothing. We are going to be a family. We are going no where. We are making fires in our fireplace, playing games, cooking our own meals, doing our own laundry, cleaning our own house, going to church. Because we can. Because we want to.

KEEP BELIEVING