Wednesday, October 15, 2008

MRI results and update on Brian Oct. 15, 2008

We had Brian's MRI results from Tuesday's scan today.

It is with a very heavy and devastated heart that I reveal to you Brian's enhancement grew 24% since the last scan 3 weeks ago.

The doctor will not say for sure that is is tumor growth, but we have never seen this amount of growth in such a short time before. It COULD be radiation change, also, but there is simply NO way of knowing for sure, barring surgery.

Brian is not a good candidate for surgery. The last surgery left Brian with enough deficits and an additional surgery could be even more detrimental.

The board will review Brian's scan on Monday and as a group of specialists come up with a recommendation. Possibly a PETscan to better determine if it is tumor or radiation effects, but in the end it will probably not change much. The oncologist does not think this chemo is serving much purpose anymore. We will probably change chemos in two weeks or so. Brian just received chemo on Monday, so his body has to recover from this last dose. We will call the doctor on Monday evening after the board meeting to determine what to do next.

He is starting a round of steroids today as well to see if that helps. There COULD be some swelling that perhaps doesn't show up on the MRI and the steroids would alleviate the swelling if THAT is what is causing Brian's speech issues.

There is really nothing left for options beyond that at this point in time.

Brian remains in good spirits because beyond his new speech issues (which makes his speech just a LITTLE worse than it was a few weeks ago), he feels the same.

I am a mess, but trying very hard to hold it together. We are making decisions about work now and whether Brian returns or not. I want him home so I can spend as much time with him as possible, but he says when he stays home, he doesn't like how little he does. I told him if he didn't watch his mouth, I would come up with a project. I might even start taking him grocery shopping with me. That'll teach him.

I am going to try to best explain what I can to the boys and their teachers. I have their conferences tomorrow, so it is good timing, if there is such a thing.

We leave tomorrow for a trip to my family in Southeast Missouri. We are going to a winery on Saturday as well and I am hoping for a relaxed weekend.

Next weekend, my sister in law and I are hosting a shower for our other sister in law and Brian's little brother will be in town for that. So, that is also good timing, if there is such a thing.

I will update here as much as I see fit about how we continue to fare. Keep checking if you are interested. Beyond that, I will not be reading your blogs much, if I am a regular at your site now. I want to spend just about every waking and sleeping hour next to my man right now.

Everyone asks what they can do. Pray. Send cards. Pray. Treat us like normal people. Pray. Invite us to do fun things. Pray. Treat Brian like the Brian that doesn't have cancer. Pray. Spend time with us. Pray and ...

KEEP BELIEVING

85 comments:

  1. PIZZA, And LOTS of SNOTTY BEER...ASAP!!! We want to hang out and just have a good time...our house or your...whatever is easier for you, and the kids just run around and just "BE KIDS"----we love you all, and are praying for an awesome weekend without the side effects (for Angie) this time :) Please get better at just allowing all of us to step in and try to make things easier for you all during all this.. and as always...we KEEP BELIEVING and PRAYING FOR YOUR MIRACLE...God couldn't choose a better family to be a testimony to his grace and mercy...I'm just going to keep reminding HIM of the fact!!!!!
    LOVE YOU ALWAYS,
    Kris

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  2. Dearest Angie and Brian,
    Schock in my heart, about the news.
    We keep believing as we have each day from the beginning. In the name of Jesus we speak to the storm as Jesus did when He was in the boat. He's in the boat with all of us now,the big family that God has drawn together over these 9 years. So we all together in one voice and shout, say "Storm be still.it bringing balance in the immune system, blood cells all at peace working together,for bloodcount to go back to normal,for balance and harmony in the whole body.
    God we thank you for all the people that have been drawn together, that we rejoice and continue to "KEEP BELIEVING" the motto that you put on Angie and Brian's heart, seeing that Miracle before our very eyes.
    "Storm be still"
    God bless Love you Marjo

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  3. Hi. I am praying. Love to you & yours. And some big ehugs.

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  4. Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. Post when you can. I want to know how you're doing. Hugs and prayers. KEEP BELIEVING.

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  5. I am so sorry Angie. A heavy heart for you is a heavy heart for us all as well. Please know I am praying and you're in my heart. Sending big virtual hugs. Enjoy that winery, Keep on keeping on and KEEP BELIEVING.

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  6. Angie - I've been away from the blogosphere for a month or so now and haven't been reading anything. I regret to hear that I've missed so much and not been able to provide any positive thoughts for you. But I noticed your post today and couldn't help but stop over to send a hug. I'll say every prayer I can for you, Brian and the boys. I'm sorry to hear of all the problems!

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  7. Hi Angie & Brian, We're definitely praying for your family! You've made it so far and been such and inspiration for us. I know God will keep you strong for your boys and the rough times right now...just have to stay positive and keep believing!
    Love, Tracy

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  8. Angie- I haven't been around much myself in dealing with life. I want you to know I am still here, still praying, still BELIEVING. Can you send me an address to mail a card? My email address is amandajoy29@gmail.com.

    love,
    amanda

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  9. Just found your blog tonight. I am praying for all of you.

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  10. Angie,

    I am so sorry. I am praying that it is NOT the cancer. Praying, praying, praying, praying for you and your family.

    May there be peace in your hearts for the next few days. Stick to your man. We understand if you stay away.

    I am going to again use your line, "Keep Believing!"

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  11. I come by way of Kristen, At Loving Our Simple Life.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Keep the faith!

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  12. I am so sorry to hear this Angie. I will definitely be praying more.

    I know I'm far away, but let me know if there's anything more I can do.

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  13. Kristen sent me....I am praying for you!!

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  14. Oh Angie. Your family is in my heart every day. You will never regret a moment you spend with him-I'm glad you have the wisdom to know that.

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  15. I came over from Kristen's blog. Just wanted you to know that you can add one more person to your list that is praying for your husband, for you, and for the rest of your family!
    Keep believing!!!!

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  16. Even before I read your last paragraph, I was going to assure you that I would uphold you guys in prayer. Tomorrow at LMO is our "scheduled" open session prayer time and this will definitely be one of the prayer items, both tomorrow and on-going. Angie, if I could see you right now I would give you a big hug and ask you to do your very best to leave this situation in the Lord's hands and remember how much He loves you guys - even in times such as these. I could never profess to know what you are going through as I completely do not. I can only imagine how tough this is right now and try to put myself in your shoes. I just want you to know that I care and I am praying for you.

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  17. Praying for you and Brian and the boys. You are in His grip.

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  18. Came over by way of Kristen @ Loving our Simple Life. Our family is praying for your family. I am also going to notify our prayer chain so there will be many, many people praying.

    Keep Believing!!!

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  19. I came over from Kristen's blog.
    I can't imagine what this must be like, but I do know that prayer works. So, I will do my part and pray that Brian will respond to treatments and that your lives will be blessed with good news and a miracle.

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  20. I came over from Kristen @ Loving our Simple Life blog. My heart goes out to you and your family. May god continue to grant you peace, serenity and the wisdom you need.

    Crystal
    Gilbert, AZ

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  21. I am also here from Kristen's blog and I am praying for you and your family. Hugs to you.

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  22. Kristen sent me over, but I should have done it long ago because I've seen your cheery "slogan" all over. I'm so truly sorry to learn of your news. Please know that you have people praying for you, for your family...and that you, too, should "keep believing." Here for you...

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  23. Hi, I just came over from Kristen's blog too and want to let you know that I am PRAYING for all of you. And, Thank you so much for reminding me to cherish every moment.

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  24. Kristen sent me too - just know that prayers can work miracles & God is with you every step of the way.
    Don't lose your FAITH and I hope y'all have a great relaxing weekend.

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  25. oh angie. every ounce of positivity i can muster is being sent your way. i will life brian up in prayer time this morning at my bible study. i don't know that the older folks there will 'get' how i 'know' him, but that isn't important. God bless. Strength to all of you.

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  26. My heart aches for you and your family. I will be praying for you!
    Stay strong and enjoy every second together.

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  27. I'm saying a prayer right now and will continue to do so. God Bless your family!

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  28. My prayer for you and your family is that you'll experience peace that surpasses all understanding during this hard time! Cyber HUGS to you and yours!

    Read your story from Kristen @ loving my simple life!

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  29. I came over from Kristen @ loving my simple life. I will be praying for both of you. Stay strong.

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  30. (((Hugs)))
    I am stopping by from Kristen's blog. Brian and all of you are in my prayers. Sending lots and lots of prayers your way and sending strong vibes, too.

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  31. Oh I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I read about your husband on Kristens page, and thought I would let you know I will be praying for you and your family. I love your outlook and that you are trying to make things remain as normal as possible. Keep Believing...God Bless!!

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  32. You will definetly be in my prayers continually. I am so amazed by your courage and your strength. I beieve with everything in my soul, that belief, hope, and love keep us going, make us strong. This is my first visit, but I will continue to visit, continue to pray for you. My love to you and yours..

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  33. Prayers being sent your way!

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  34. Hey. Kristen from Loving Our Simple Life told me about your story in a blog post. KEEP BELIEVING.

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  35. Your family is in our prayers. Keep believing.

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  36. I've been reading your friend's blog from "Loving our Simple Life." Her blog's link is what brought me to your blog. Believe that you will be in my prayers everday. I will also tell others I know to pray for you.

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  37. kristen sent me too - sending lots and lots of prayers to you, brian and your family!

    hugs and keep believing!

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  38. Angie -
    My heart is breaking for you guys. I can't begin to know your fears and heartaches, but I will pray for you guys and wish we were closer to we could get together for Euchre and beer (well, I don't like beer, but you guys and Jeff do, I'd come up with an alternative though!). God is in control and we never understand many of the things we and those we love go through, but I do believe He has a purpose in all things.
    God Loves You and So Do I!
    Marcie

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  39. I don't know what to say that would make you feel any better right now other than I will continue to pray for you and Brian and your boys.

    There is a Bible verse that always seems to offer me hope and comfort when my MS pain is flaring up and causes me to worry about my future...

    "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." - Romans 12:12

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  40. melissa laurentiusOctober 16, 2008

    angie,
    as always, we are thinking of you guys and praying hard for you! (Aiden said he'll say some extra prayers this week) I too, will ask for additional prayers from people i know, and at church. hugs and much love, ken and melissa

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  41. Angie,
    We will be keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Sending you (((Hugs)))

    Lynette and Greg Denzer

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  42. Came from Kristen's blog...neither of you know me, but I will pray for you & your husband today! Go to Joshua 1:9 to read...."have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go." Believe in your God to keep His promises!
    Suzanne

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  43. I will say as many prayers as my heart can hold. I am so sorry about this news you recieved. I cannot even imagine everything going through your head. Just know that you and your family have my thoughts and prayers...

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  44. Sending heartfelt prayers your way. God works miracles...always remember that.

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  45. I am so sorry, Angie. Please know that Brian and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending many virtual hugs.

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  46. You are in my prayers. God Bless you all.

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  47. PG's big sisterOctober 16, 2008

    PG's blog sent me your way....and I am glad it did so I can add my thoughts and prayers. Hope, belief, faith...all very powerful and you clearly have them in abundance.

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  48. Angie,
    I just can't help but think of what you sign all your comments with...KEEP BELIEVING.
    Sending so many prayers for you and your family today.
    ((Hugs))

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  49. We have you in our prayers. May God hold the hands of the doctors and your family at this time.
    I had a non-cancerous tumor removed 2 1/2 years ago affecting spreech and balance.
    Sincerely, Lynette Denzer's dad, Clay

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  50. I'm a first time visitor by way of PG. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I myself am a survivor of a brain tumor during childhood. I was fortunate that it was benign and several surgeries removed it from my head. There is always hope. Like the title of your blog, keep believing.

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  51. Hey,

    I will be praying and getting my friends to pray!

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  52. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. My husband was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue in 2001. He had surgery and radiation treatments, and has been cancer free now for more than 7 years. I understand completely when you ask that people treat your husband like he doesn't have cancer.

    The thing that hurt us the worst while my husband was going through his treatments was the lack of visits from people he loved who later said "I couldn't stand to see him that way." Well, he couldn't stand to be that way, and visits from his friends would have helped him immensely.

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  53. I will be praying for you! Miracles happen... and they will!

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  54. Angie, sweetie, hug him and love him and pray with him. I am so sorry about this news. My love to you and your family.
    --Jen

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  55. I came over from Kristens blog and I have to say your post brought tears to my eyes. I can not imagine what youre going thru but you sound like a very strong woman. I will keep your family in my prayers.

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  56. I am praying right now, Angie. God bless you!

    Anna

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  57. Angie, I came over from PG's blog. I am so sorry to hear about these challenges for your family. It sounds like it has been a long road. God is still in control of even this. He isn't surprised. May He give you strength when you need it, and may you allow yourself to cry in His arms when you need to.

    Heavenly Father, please watch over this family closely. Keep their every tear counted. I lift up Angie to you as she is bearing such a burden, trying to be the lighthouse in the fog of uncertainty. May you grant her wisdom, strength, and peace in your sovereignty.

    May Brian continue to have a positive attitude and always trust in Your supreme desire for the best thing any of us could ask for in our lives. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

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  58. Will keep you & your family in my heart & my prayers.

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  59. For what it's worth, I just wanted you to know that there's one more person praying for all of you.

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  60. Kelly BurkemperOctober 17, 2008

    Angie, Brian, Gavin & Grant -
    You are always in my thoughts and prayers, especially now with your latest news.

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  61. hey ang, what's the difference btween roast beef and pea soup?

    anyone can roast beef.

    ...yeah, that was a corny one, but fitting i guess, since it's fall. come on roll your eyes!!! ok how about check your inbox for a real laugh out loud...

    <3 n prayers to you...

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  62. I'm on a very similar journey with my Mom right now. I'll be praying for your family. Love/live each moment fully. ((((((angie)))))))

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  63. Oh, I am sorry to read this. I am so glad PG directed me here. I have seen your comments on many blogs I frequent. I hope for the best for you all, strength and hope.

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  64. you are a brave woman to share this story... and a strong woman for holding it together the best you can... i will keep you in my prayers...

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  65. i'm renee. i stopped by beth's blog tonight and i saw a prayer request on there for your husband and your family. please know i will be thinking of you and your family during this time. may God Bless you and keep you.

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  66. I read about your situation on another blog. I'm praying that God will be real to you and your family in this difficult time.

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  67. Oh Angie, I'm sorry to hear the news and will also be praying for your family. May God give you the peace that can only come from Him at this time. Be open and honest with Him and don't feel guilty if you are angry and sad, He already knows how you feel!

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  68. I don't pray, Angie but I do believe in positive thinking so I will think positively for you and your family. I wish you all the luck in the world.

    (There's an article in the latest Oprah magazine that you might enjoy - it's written by a woman living with cancer who has two little girls. She's an excellent writer who's very honest, creative, real and witty.)

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  69. I am new to your blog today.
    I will keep praying for you each day.

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  70. Keep Believing! There are prayers headed your way from Wyoming.

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  71. I am sending prayers. He's got so much love right there. And you are amazing. I wish we could do more, but I love to see all of these comments. I hope you feel us, Angie. We care.

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  72. Oh, honey. I'm going to, right now, close my laptop and send you positive, healing thoughts.

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  73. Angie . . . I'm thinking and praying for you and your family.

    Lots and lots of love your way . . .

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  74. I had to come by and see how you fared. I am so sorry the news was not better. Enjoy your time with your man. If you need anything, let me know. If the fear overtakes you, I'm only an email away. My prayers are certainly with you.

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  75. 不結婚可環球October 20, 2008

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  76. I just read this post, Angie.
    Please know how much I pray for you all.
    Much love, sister.
    Kiss Brian for me.
    Errr, that sounded bad.
    Hug him for me, and a kiss on the cheek.
    ;-)

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  77. I will pray for you all. Take it easy.

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  78. Oh, Angie.

    I'm so sorry to hear it.

    I'll certainly be keeping you in my thoughts. Hugs & Kisses to all.

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  79. I'm very sorry to hear this latest news. I'm thinking of you and your family and believing in the best.

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  80. Sending every bit of good will and hope I can muster, to you all.

    Auds at Barking Mad!

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  81. Angie,

    I will be thinking about you guys and hoping for the best possible outcome. Good luck....

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  82. Angie, did you notice the time you posted this info? 3:16... My first thought when I saw that was the Bible text we all know.. John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not parish, but have everlasting life." How wonderful that we have this promise. No matter what, keep believing, and have everlasting life. His life, is eternal. PRAYING FOR YOU!! Lis from Washington state..

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  83. Angie, I was directed here from another website and I want to add you and your husband to my prayer list. I truly believe that God never premits anything to happen to us that we are not already capable of handling. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses and knows before that we can handle our trials and tribulations. May God bless and keep you and your family surrounded by his love and protection. My He lift your souls up high to his throne and show you the peace that you have that passes all understanding. Only God knows what you have ahead and He will make the way for you to Him.

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