Thursday, March 27, 2008

The evolution of romance in my marriage

I received a comment from Christina on Monday’s post about the night Brian was diagnosed. I was amused by her comment because while moved by the whole story, she highlighted the sentence about our shower together and ended the comment with, Ahhhh, Newlyweds. I contemplated omitting that part of the story, but it was such a part of who we were then. We even received a gift basket from a friend of Brian’s parents that summer with all kinds of lotions and soaps because, “we heard how much you like to share the shower.” We used to shower together all the time. We washed each other’s backs and made sure the other still had a spray of hot water even when we were rinsing our own hair.

Today. NO STINKING WAY. Get out of my spray zone you hot water hog. It’s my turn to rinse. I have soap in my eyes. Your pits still smell, wash them again. YOU get out and dry with YOUR towel first, I will stay in the stall and dry off.

Sort of lost it’s romantic luster somewhere.

How many other romantic and simple gestures have we lost in the hullabaloo of life and marriage? ThirteenLots.

  1. Then: Long conversations that lasted well into the sleeping hours of the night. Now: Brian says my superpower is the ability to fall asleep within minutes of my head touching the pillow. I’m gifted.

  2. Then: Flowers and jewelry as a gesture of love. Now: Ummmm. Hon? The budget… We need to save towards a new washer and dryer to replace these that probably have about 3 years’ useful life remaining.

  3. Then: Staying in bed late into the day while sleeping in, reading, and fooling around intermittently. Now: Reality = children.

  4. Then: Sexy = lights dim, soft music, me in a skimpy negligee. Now: Sexy = Lights bright, loud vacuum cleaner pushed by him in an apron.

  5. Then: Weekend getaways to the mountains. Now: Weekend home repair projects that ACTUALLY get finished.

  6. Then: Sharing a twin bed while spooning. Now: Considering a king size bed lest I actually feel human flesh next to me during my precious sleep.

  7. Then: Shopping together, browsing through aisles, glancing at the window displays, taking our time. Now: Shop separately for the things each knows best. No. Matter. What.

  8. Then: Ideal night out = nice restaurant, taking 2 hours to eat, bottle of wine, a show or live music somewhere afterwards. Now: Ideal night out = any night away from the kids with free babysitting so we don’t have to watch each tick of the clock add up to $$$.

  9. Then: Taking care of our bodies, doing our best to stay looking buff and trim. Now: Sucking in our guts when walking past the mirror and boasting that we still got it, careful to avoid the wrong angle lest we be humbled by love handles.

  10. Then: Staying up together watching the late show or late movie. Now: Watching the DVR’d late show or movie at 8:45 as soon as the kids are in bed so we can get to bed earlier.

  11. Then: Sharing an entrée (whatever he wanted) at a restaurant while I nibbled on my appetizer. Now: HA! I’m not sharing my meal and I am NOT compromising on what I am ordering. This is MY NIGHT OUT FROM COOKING, DAMNIT!

  12. Then: 3 of the best words = I love you. Now: 3 of the best words = You were right.

  13. Then: Mortified or at least slightly modest about any bodily functions the other might witness. Now: Finishing our sentences mid-burp while, sadly, the other understands the sentence.



  1. Ha! Most of these are so true in my marriage also. Funny how things change!!

  2. You NAILED it.

    My favorite: You were right!

  3. I am 13 for 13 on that list. Yeah. And so funny.

    I revised my statements on Vintage Thirty...well, actually someone else said what I was thinking much better and I stole it. I would hate to think anything I said was hurtful so please accept this poorly executed apology. Sending hugs.

  4. I just adore you! Can I say that? You had me chocking on my cereal, but I adore you anyway. You are so, so, right! Like HRH--13 for 13!

    I'm so glad I found your blog :)

    Hilarious . . . *laugh* . . . *cough*

  5. Then: Thinking you were in it for the long haul.

    Now: Knowing you are in it for the long haul.

  6. You are so right!!! We have certainly lost many, but they have been replaced with others!

  7. to true, to true!! thanx for the good laugh!

    sure hope you don't miss miracle monday, i'll be looking for it!!!

  8. It takes more work now, doesn't it?
    The love is still there, though.

  9. This is sooo true. especially the last one. Yesterday, I was n the bathroom, doing my biz, ad i heard my son say "Where's Mommy?: and my husband say "She's pooing..." HA. romance=GONE but reality is still good

  10. I could put a check mark next to all 13 things on your list. Sometimes I am asleep before my head hits the pillow. :)
    Yes we may have lost some of those newlywed things, thankfully they are replaced by other things.


  11. Yep! The romance goes as soon as the first kid comes!

  12. ROFL at "You were right."- So true!!!

    *sigh* hubby and I used to share showers too. Now he's been replaced with a toddler.
    Your list is SO true!!! But I must say, so jealous he vacuums!

  13. OMGoodness, thanks for writing up my 13. Haha. Something I must say that my husband has never lost. I was just sharing this with a friend today. He still hugs and kisses me every single day before work, tells me he loves me, and repeats the same when he comes home. Even if I am in a grumbling kind of mood he will take my arms to wrap around him and still kiss me and tell me he loves me. Then, no kidding regardless of the days events he kisses me goodnight always. I laugh as he, holds in that tummy and brags of his "buff" 51 year old body. I just smile and let him believe. LOL

  14. HA! I LOVED this and sadly, could have written it myself. I was thinking the other day how we used to cuddle up and sleep together, happy as clams, in my single bed. Now we have an oversize king - we are in different zip codes and that's the way I like it!

  15. Hilarious list. And as far as #13 goes, who are you kidding? That ship sailed long ago.

  16. These are so honest. Kudos!

  17. Those are so funny! You forgot one though

    Enjoying your coffee while listening to Bob Dylan or John Denver on Sunday a cold coffee whilst yelling at the kids to turn down the cartoons!

  18. I would NEVER have ordered just an appetizer and I DON'T share my meals.

    DJ's favorite thing to tell people is how we ordered a pizza, after seeing a movie, on our first date and I wolfed down more than my fair share. I don't skimp when it comes to food.

  19. Total hilarity. All so true. I'm posting this one on the blog hop page even though the weekend's almost over. Loved it.

  20. That is awesome! And true.

  21. Oh thank you.

    Thank you!

    So glad to hear I'm not the only one. I have the same friggin' 13.

  22. LOL! I can so relate to #13. I have a rather noisy stomach when I lay down. It is just non stop growling and gurgles. I used to be mortified! Now, not so much. About any noise!

  23. This. Was. Hilarious. Especially that sexy is anything that involves him doing housework. You got this right on!

  24. LOL! Take heart, though - the good stuff does come around after the brats.. mm.. err.. kids finally move out. JUST DON'T GIVE THEM KEYS TO YOUR HOUSE! Long story - don't ask unless you want to have bad dreams about your own parents... LOL!

  25. Great list. After 22 years of marriage, I can identify with every one of them.

  26. LOL!!!!!! So funny...thank you for the great laugh...

  27. This is still very funny. I think my favorite is #12.