Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Polar Emotions with Kids

Children’s behaviors cause varying reactions and emotions within different people. What annoys one person charms another. For those that don’t want children, the mere mention of the word begets loathing and headaches. For someone who may be trying desperately and unsuccessfully to have a child (I have been there), children can be heart-breaking. Others react with joy, laughter, fear, wonder, you name it. One phenomenon that still amazes me with my children is the POLAR OPPOSITE reactions and emotions that a certain behavior can cause AT THE SAME TIME. Here are some examples:

YOU DESERVE A SPANK! / WAIT LET ME JUST HUG YOU FOREVER!:
Like when your two boys (4 and 5) wander off from their Daddy at Disneyworld during the ONE time you and your spouse decide to split up in the park while he turns for half a nanosecond to look at a display, and Mommy miraculously stumbles upon them 5 minutes later because she happened to backtrack unsure of the meeting place, completely unaware of the situation.

STOP, DANGER! / JUST DO IT ALREADY!:
Like when your 3 year old little baby boy is learning to ride a two-wheeler/ice-skate/roller-blade/insert dangerous-coming-of-age activity.

There is nothing remotely surprising about your predictable behavior / I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! (again):
Like when your children take the tassel off your expensive beautiful throw pillow, and you punish them for their actions. Then you find another tassel disassembled the next day in the same spot. You punish them again. Then you find a third about a week later. Punish again. Then you find a 4th and a 5th two months later until you just take them all off yourself and mourn your loss.

HOW GROSS! / HOW CUTE!:
Like when they bring you a deer tail recently cut from the hanging carcass being skinned next door telling you it is just for you because there is meat inside and “You and Daddy love meat.”

YOU EXHAUST ME / YOU ENERGIZE ME:
Like when you are going on few hours of sleep during the busiest time of your life, but you can still find the energy to make a snowman, go on a bike ride, play a board game, etc. because your kids want nothing more than to be with you at that moment.

TIME TO GROW UP! / JUST STAY YOUNG!
Like when they can’t zip their own pants, dry off after the shower, button their own shirt, whatever, and you explain that big boys at least TRY doing these things for themselves while secretly loving that you are still needed for such basic functions.

BE QUIET!/KEEP TALKING
Like when you are in the middle of a very quiet situation ever so thankful that they are obliging you with unusual silence only to have them yell out “I have to PEE!” at an inopportune time. Or when you are trying to put them to bed and you just want it to go quickly and smoothly tonight because you are BEYOND exhausted, but they talk about how some day they are going to marry you because you are the only girl they want to be with.

GET AWAY! / COME HERE!

Like when they are hanging on your leg, tapping your shoulder, or climbing on you when you are making dinner, having a telephone conversation, or paying a bill and you shoo them away only to realize that is the only physical contact you have had with them all day.



KEEP BELIEVING

10 comments:

  1. Well said! And, for how long did you torture Brian before you let him know that you found the kids? I guess that's one that you don't play around with.

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  2. OH Heather, I didn't torture him at all. When I saw them sans Daddy, I said, "Where is your Dad?" They said, "He left us. He didn't want to be with us anymore." WHAT?!?! I went down the path and saw Brian talking to security with a panic-stricken face. I said, "I'VE GOT THEM!" He wanted to kill them, but OH MAN, He just grabbed them and hugged them.
    ANGIE
    KEEP BELIEVING

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  3. Great post! It is a fine line sometimes, isn't it! I saw myself in every one of these statements. See you soonn Angie - Kellan

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  4. Well spoken!! I know exactly what you are talking about in all those situations.

    Christina

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  5. Yep, been there and done most of those.

    We lost our youngest(6 yrs) last year at Disney too. She was such a mess when we finally found her, about twenty LOOOOONG minutes later, that they gave us a fast entrance pass for the rest of the day to EVERY ride in the park. It was amazing.

    I think when we go back, her older brother and sister plan to lose her again.

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  6. You captured the yin and the yang of parenting perfectly.

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  7. If it weren't for the sweetness to balance out the sour, I'd be in BIG trouble!! I'm convinced that God endears us to our children and their charms at just the right moment to keep us from throwing in the towel!

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  8. Hey, you have an award at my place to pick up! ;-)
    It's a day or two old now, get it before it gets stale.
    Pinky

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  9. HOW TRUE! Great post that I'm sure every parent can identify with. The tassels thing cracked me up because the EXACT same thing happened to us. I didn't want Marcus to get in trouble with mom, so I did my best (my best = WTF) to tie them back. Then he did it again, I tied them again. Then he did it again. I said, hmm no one's gonna judge me if the pillows on my couch are sans tassel.

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  10. Oh, yes. Like when Dylan is driving me CRAZY with all his crying and whining and all I want is to force him into his room and close the door, but then I stop, and realize that all he needs is some lovin' and a little reassurance and it wil all be over, 'cause Mommy makes everything better. Even when she's the one who caused all the drama in the first place!

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