One more reason I love that man of mine

One of the residual problems Brian has as a result of his surgery in April is difficulty speaking. He knows exactly what he wants to say, his mind says it correctly, but the words simply DO NOT come out his mouth the way he intends. It is called expressive aphasia. For instance, if he is trying to say ‘electricity,’ he might say something like “lecture”, then “sickle”, then “locknew,” until he finally says, “the thing that gives us power.” I usually know what he is trying to say by the second try, but I always urge him to say the intended word. Even when he tries to “Porky Pig” (Brian’s expression, not mine) himself out of it like the above example, I encourage him to say the word, if only repeating after me. This is therapy. It didn’t start like this, though. When we first returned from surgery, I finished his sentences often and spoke the word I knew he was struggling to spit out.

Recently, I found myself saying the word for him again and I apologized.

It’s alright. I am getting pretty used to it.
From me?
No, everyone else.
At work?
Yeah and everywhere.

We discussed his speech and the complexity it brings to his career. It occurred to me that unless you know the background to Brian’s situation, you would think he is not as intelligent and he can’t find the words. That is NOT at all the situation, but I could see men in the workplace unjustly inferring this. Brian NEVER comments whether this may be so nor ever assumes it this way. That was just the way I could see it occurring.

Me: So you find that people finish your sentences for you often at work?
Brian: That and other things.
Me: Like what?
Brian: Well, in the workplace, since I have had to sit back and listen more now instead of speak up, I notice that sometimes people simply talk a lot and will occasionally talk over me before I am finished, or that I can’t get in my points when I want.
Me: That must be frustrating for you, eh, babe? (1/2 empty)
Brian: Well, it could be, but I look at it as a good opportunity.
Me: How’s that?
Brian: Well, as I get better with speaking and when I get my speech back, I have learned a lot by listening about when to speak and not to speak and how to use less words. I also think that as a result of this, I have learned to be a lot more intentional in my phrases. I really think about exactly what I want to say. I write down my thoughts during meetings since I can’t interject, so I listen instead of thinking about what I want to say all the time. When I do have something to add, it is very concise. (1/2 full) I think that will really help me when I am over this. (I paraphrased some of this since Brian tried to Porky Pig his way through a few words.)

I LOVE THIS MAN!

KEEP BELIEVING