I am tired

I find myself so tired lately. So very tired. I have never really felt tired before. I have felt sleepy when I lack sleep, but not overall tired. Writing our Miracle Monday posts has proven to be much more of an undertaking than I realized. It is so difficult to relive those desperate first moments again and again. As trying a time as that was, what I wouldn’t do to have life be as simple as it was then. We didn’t know what was in front of us, but we had hope and Brian was functioning fine. Today, watching him fight for every coherent sentence, for every step with his right foot which should be something no one has to will himself to do, and for every ounce of energy to spend quality time with our family while still trying to work to provide for us makes my heart break in new ways every day. I am sad. Sad all the time. I feel on the verge of tears and so distant from every event and person that needs my immediate attention. Lately, not much can distract my mind from the graveness of our situation. Not weekends away. Not projects. Not blogging. Not girls’ nights out. Almost nothing. More and more as each day passes, I feel as if I am barely holding it together.

And what upsets me the most is this:

If I feel this way, how must Brian be feeling?

KEEP BELIEVING