Mother's Day, Translated

Since when did Mother’s Day turn into a day all about the kids? I thought it was a day of pampering mom.

I was mildly pampered.

Brian told me he was gonna make me breakfast in bed. Translation: Brian suffered from his nightly insomnia, considered just staying up and making me breakfast, but fell soundly back to sleep at the time I had to get up to get myself and the boys ready for church, so we all had cold cereal (Frosted Flakes, because I am all about pampering myself on mother’s day and all) Except for Brian who got up and made himself an egg 5 minutes before it was time to leave, causing me to rush everyone into the “get-your-shoes-on-NOW-it’s-time-to-go” frenzy.

We were supposed to go to Brian’s folks for a fish fry with Brian’s brother and his family, but someone from each family was sick and we cancelled it. Translation: I had the dessert I was scheduled to bring in the oven causing me to gain 5 pounds at the THOUGHT of the entire dessert in my house knowing Brian’s lack of sweet indulgence and my INABILITY to stay away from those chocolate chip, caramel brownies. (Feel pants constrict)

The boys decided to make me another card. Translation: The scissors, paper and tiny paper clippings are still waiting to be reorganized and reshelved.

Since our plans were cancelled, Brian decided a movie was a good idea, seeing how the weather for the day consisted of a balmy 50 degrees, hurricane force winds and arctic rain. Gavin decided I should get to choose the movie since it was Mother’s Day and all and he is so sweet and considerate. I suggested a nice princess movie since I am a girl and it is mother’s day and all, but sweet considerate Gavin said, “Mom, the movie you want to see starts with 'sssssss.'” Translation: Speed Racer.

I got to relax and enjoy a movie at the theater. Translation: I The kids ate way too much popcorn and soda. The boys hung on me and whined during all the slow, but essential too-complicated-for-a-kid-movie plot development scenes, Grant belly-laughed at the 'Spritle kicks a thug in the nads' scene, and I had to take one of the boys to the bathroom no less than 3 times during race scenes.

“We should have whatever Mommy wants for dinner.” Translation: Due to the cancelled dinner plans and the lack of any plan or thought for the day’s meal - Arby’s. The kids loved it.

Brian would put the kids to bed that night. Translation: Brian crashed on the couch around 7:30, so I put the kids to bed when their incessant fighting nearly drove me to manslaughter (although I think I had a good case for self-defense because listening to them argue all day was torture.)

I didn’t have to do much of any housework. Translation: Aside from the dishes Brian washed from the lunch he prepared everyone (leftovers), I just have an extra day’s worth of filth, clutter and laundry to handle.

Angie tends to exaggerate. Translation: Despite all of the above, I had a nice day surrounded by my family and enjoy making myself the martyr in it all, anyway.

So, when did Mother’s Day become all about the kids? Translation: Oh yeah, the day those kids made me a mother.

KEEP BELIEVING