Friday, July 18, 2008

Subway - giving my children "exactly what they want"

Dear Subway,

Please be prepared for the consequence of your latest advertising aimed at young children. There have been a series of television commercials for Subway aired during morning and daytime hours on such channels as Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. I reference the commercial above as an example.

Please. Feel free to add campaigns marketed towards tweens requesting cell phones, designer clothes, their own computer, etc. only to fall on nay-saying parental units. Also, it would be wise to target teenagers requesting such things as sports cars, booze, weed and no curfews from their denying parents set out on destroying their social life and well-being. If you could, though, please wait until my children are of that age demographic before you launch each campaign. I really need to give my children another reason to hate me and my husband for the fact that we do not buy them toys and luxuries without cause and the fact that we have rules and boundaries. How ridiculous of any parent to deny their grade-schoolers request for a tarantula or to dye the cat (okay you may have a point on that one).

Please be prepared for the large influx of booger-picking, mosquito-bite-scratching, extravagant-requesting, picky-eating little hoodlums I plan on sending your way. Have your checkbooks ready so that you can tell my children who are begging me every day to go so Subway so they can "get exactly what they want" after I have turned down their daily requests for a Wii, a house with a swimming pool, a pair of Heely's, a Ripstick, and a trip to Disney for no particular reason, event or accomplishment that YOU, SUBWAY, will give them exactly what their literally-processing minds want. Thankyouverymuch.

At the very minimum, please be prepared to start offering hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly to the new market you have targeted.



  1. I love that dad in the commercial! I didn't think it was possible for someone to say no more than I do!

  2. You have a mighty fine point, Angie. Well said!

  3. Amen, sistah. Did you know that in some countries (I think Sweden or Norway, somewhere up dere) that marketing to young children (I think under 12) is actually illegal. I think there also are tight restrictions on the commercials shown at certain times of the day. Wow I sure have my facts straight, don't I? But it's food for thought. Our freedom of speech (and the pursuit of capitalism) is such a wonderful thing. God Bless America.

  4. Bwahahahah!
    I love the literalness!
    Good job. Definitely, hot dogs are required. Pax, E

  5. AnonymousJuly 19, 2008

    Ey Yi Yi.
    Just what we need.
    One more adversary.


  6. Your last line was what I was thinking the whole time. Nice of them to advertise "exactly what they want" when they won't eat anything on the menu. Well, maybe chips and soda to which I say, "NO". Mean old mom.

  7. haha I think that commercial is quite hilarious. But... my kids actually love subway. My kiddos can't get enough of the turkey and ham...with pickles, LOTS of pickles!!

  8. Ever since TiVo I have no idea what commercials are out there. I hope you get a response from Subway!

  9. I haven;t seen that commericial!! Apparently I need to watch more cartoons. :)
    I agree with how stupid that commercial is. Good point!

  10. Once I again, I agree witcha.

    *shakes head*

  11. AnonymousJuly 22, 2008

    Great post. Had me laughing and sputtering...while I agreed with ya.

  12. AnonymousJuly 22, 2008

    How do you take a commerical and make it into an awesome post?? I don't know..but I do know that I agree with ya!

  13. Well, now I know where to send my children to get exactly what they want. However these days my kids think I worked at Subway. After the adds I went and bought lots of subway kind of stuff and that has been our lunch all summer. I lay things out and they throw it all together. Somehoe donuts got into the mix on Monday, and they added that to their sandwhich. I loved this blog.

  14. Interesting. Thank goodness we don't get this up here.

  15. I applaud you for this.
    Well said!
    And thank you!

  16. AnonymousJuly 26, 2008

    While they are offering the kids "exactly what they want" I hope they are paying for it too LOL